Hi people, So... this is a question from a straight guy :roflmao: (well, possibly a little more complicated, but 95% "simply" straight) I just read in another thread that some people hate it when people assume that they're straight. For me, I assume straight until someone tells me otherwise. Some people can come across as gay while being straight (this happens to me every once in a while) so I'm really hesitant about assuming someone is gay (or bi, or trans etc) because... what if I'm wrong? Somehow it seems less offensive to assume someone is straight while this person isn't, than the other way around. What do you think? Are you offended/annoyed when people assume you're straight? And how, in your opinion, should straight people like me handle this?
Personally, it's okay if people assume I'm straight as long as: *You don't continually pressure me to ask a girl out * You don't continue to pry, asking about my relationship status, if I like anybody or what my type is So like if somebody asks if I have a girlfriend and I say no, that's fine. But lots of straight people think they're being nice by trying to be a wingman, offer "moral support" or just being friendly (aka prying), then it pisses me off. I can't speak for everybody, but I think when they say they hate when people assume they're straight, they really just hate when people pry and try to play matchmaker
I honestly don't mind at all if someone thinks I'm straight. I kind of assume people are straight unless they tell me otherwise too. The only thing I do to avoid offending people is by not saying things that imply I think they are straight. I never ask someone if they have a girlfriend or boyfriend for example I'd ask simply if they are seeing someone. I can't think of any other situation where you'd be assuming someone's sexuality though, unless you have a crush I suppose? That's a whole different story though.
Lately I have found myself a little annoyed that people do, especially if I have never once shown an appreciation of the opposite sex in conversation with them. I do think that is just that I wish me being straight didn't have to be a thing or an anomaly. And close friends and family who I feel should realise I'm not straight, I feel frustrated at. But again I think that's because I'm in a weird place and it's complicated.
I don't assume anything. I wouldn't be thinking about that. Unless maybe it's relevant to the conversation, I would never stop to think about their orientation. I get really irritated when I'm assumed to be straight. Part of why I came out of the closet when I did was because I was sick of people expecting me to like guys. Like, don't they ever think maybe it's not a guy I like...?
If I were to assume anything I would just think they're pansexual or bi until proven otherwise, not that it matter since I'm not the one trying to date them? As for gender I listen carefully, use neutral pronous or simply ask them. I do not wanna assume anything to hurt anyone's feeling. So far it haven't given me anything bad of trying my best to understand others. But in general, don't assume anything.
Well, when there's just small talk and nothing about boys/girls, then it's not an issue. But indeed when for example the conversation is about relationships or whatever, and you don't know the person's orientation, then I sometimes hesitate to guess. And just to plainly ask someone you don't know that well (met just a few times), I feel it's kind of rude. I think the "are you seeing someone" is the best way to go about it, instead of asking "do you have a bf/gf". It keeps it really neutral . I'll use this in the future Although there might be the occasional gay hater that might take offense, but if that's the case, we can't be friends anyway .
Yeah, I think there are usually ways to be gender neutral about it. Luckily it's not that hard. ^^ I don't think you need to guess or ask; you can just phrase things in a gender neutral way and usually avoid sounding at all strange.
It gets a little annoying if everyone assumes you are straight, I think every LGBT person goes through that. It's no fault of them, though. Straight people tend to be the overwhelming majority, so yeah, I generally assume people I meet are straight until their actions suggest otherwise.
