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Should I come out as gay to my friends

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by awd, Jun 14, 2016.

  1. awd

    awd
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    I am 17Last year I cam out as bi sexual to my parents not because I was ready but because I was forced to by something I had done which I do not want to talk about. I was to scared to tell tem I was gay so just said I was bi. They were shocked and angry but because fi nature if circumstance nothing happened and I think they have forgotten. I don't intend to remind them. I go to all boys boarding school and have told my best friend. However I don't know weather to tell my other friends as I only have 1 year left at this school. I don't know weather to tell them an risk having an awful last year at school or just wait and possibly never tell them or tell them on last day of school next year. I am also worried because quite likely that I will have a senior role in this school as I am very likely to be Head of my Boarding house so worried about effects on coming out as gay will have on that as well and if I say now I may not be appointed or if I wait till after announcement could eb a very weird. And to make matters worse my dad is a teacher at my school so if my friends know then word will pass to other teachers and my dad will find out. My sexuality is stressing me out and I really don't know what to do as I am in such a complex situation as my sexuality and knowing I am gay is really stressing me out.
     
  2. mirkku

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    Hello! It might be better for you to wait if you feel that coming out now could have bad repercussions on your sort-of-immediate future - a good last year of high school can weigh in so much after you graduate, such as choice of college, job opportunities, and so on.
    It is good that you confided who you are to your best friend, because going through this year (and stress) alone would prove damaging. Online communities such as this one will be here to support you, too. If you partake in any extra-curricular activity with people unrelated to your school, you might also find allies there.
    Do you plan on telling your parents one day, or not for a while? They were angry the first time, but was it more because of the announcement or in the heat of what you did back then - which, i assume, was something "bad" in their eyes?
     
  3. awd

    awd
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    Your probably right as at least the year after next I will probably be at university far away from my parents and probably have the ability to come out there. I will try not to tell my parents for as long as possible as I was very close to my parents before I told hem I was bi and now have moved away my parents slightly more especially my mum who I think it hurt the most as we no longer talk as much and I don't really want to hurt her anymore
     
  4. mirkku

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    I am sorry to read that. :icon_sad:

    Do you think that there could be a way to reconnect with her? Why exactly would she be so against your sexual orientation?

    Distance does help in some cases, yes. Hopefully, in the meantime, your parents will not show animosity toward gay people, as such situation can be very distressful - been there, went through that. Patience and love, hun.
     
  5. awd

    awd
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    I don't think so. It could be something to do with religion as family quite Christian as both me and my brother are confirmed but don't really know. I think best thing at moment is not to bring it up. I don't really want to talk about it either as in some way quite ashamed to tell my family.
     
  6. mirkku

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    You have nothing to be ashamed for, you know? There is really nothing wrong with who you are.