I really want to come out to one of my friends--because I know she's homophobic and I want her to either ditch me for knowing the truth, or though this is very unlikely, accept me for who I really am. I'm so tired of feeling like a doormat. Feeling like I'm so caught up in her drama, but like she doesn't really know me. I feel like, maybe it's not her fault that our relationship isn't so great, but at the same time I feel like she's just using me. Today I got ditched by her too. We were planning to hang out but then she just went off with her cool, pot-smoking friends to go hang at a skate park and to me, it just didn't sound fun. But still I mean, who likes being ditched? I feel like I'm giving so much of myself up to people who in the end, really don't care about me. I would rather she just know the truth, so at least I don't have to feel like I'm hiding anymore.