I identify as bisexual but it's mostly theoretical since I have never dated a woman. I want to, but I'm starting to give up. But anyway I have bad feelings about being bi and I don't want to come out as bi. The other day in a small group of coworkers I said that I was gay (long story but it was relevant), but then I felt guilty because neither bi people nor gay people would probably want me to say that. (I'm also not sure anybody heard me, which is kind of embarrassing.) The other reason I do not want to come out is that I'm not sure anyone cares. I mean I could say it in again with coworkers (if it ever became relevant again) but I think everybody would just wonder why the hell I was bothering to mention it. (I'm also a little nervous about attitudes toward LGBT people in my workplace, but I am pretty secure that no one would actually harass me and if they did I honestly believe that human resources would back me up.) So I am scared to come out for some relative normal reasons but also because I don't think anyone really cares. My friends are all online and they all know and my son knows and maybe it really doesn't matter at all if I'm out at work or not.
I think I see a part of you does want to come out (despite the thread title), but you're afraid of doing so for the reasons you explained. That being said, I can tell you that the fact you've never dated a woman doesn't make your sexuality "less real" or so. For example, I've never ever dated or even kissed any guys or girls and I'm pretty sure I'm gay. If you feel you're bisexual it's okay, and if you want not to hide it anyomore even if you still don't date women, it's okay as well. Also, why do you have bad feelings about being bi? About the point you said no one would care, I can't tell you much since I'm struggling with the same problem :icon_sad: But I think coming out to your collegues could possibly make you feel more free about yourself and even strengthen your relationship with them. You never know what their reaction will be - it could be better than what you expected! In the end, it's you decission if you want to come out or not. Good luck!
I guess I have bad feelings about being bi because so many people talk badly about bi people. (I'm not trying to say that being bi is harder than being gay! Just that a lot of women won't date bi women and so forth.) Also if I'm bi, I could have stayed with my ex-husband. (I didn't leave him for a woman or because I thought I was gay, though the subject did come up.) I feel pretty guilty for not staying and if I were gay at least people would understand it. I guess that's kind of silly since people get divorced for all sorts of reasons but because of my religious background it's something that still bothers me. There's been some discussion at work lately about not asking people personal questions as apparently a couple of employees have been made uncomfortable. But then again nobody's asking me, I'm just talking about it, and it's not something that should have to be a secret. Anyway thank you for answering my post. I hope things go well with you!
