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Really need some advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by PFCMN, Jun 16, 2016.

  1. PFCMN

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Hello all-

    I met a guy my age about a month ago at work. We started talking, shared snaps and are gonna hangout soon, the usual for a new friendship. Problem is, I have kind of developed a bit of crush for him, and I haven't told him that I am bisexual.

    I have a little feeling that he might be gay/bi, because of flirty snaps (at least I think flirty) he sends, but I'm not good at telling whats flirty or not most of the time. And when I bring up girls, what he talks about seems a bit forced, like he's trying to sound straight. But once again, I'm not too sure.

    I really want to tell him that I'm bi, but what if he's weird about it or judges me or doesn't want to be my friend? I know that I won't know this until I tell him, but what if?

    I just need some advice, in all honesty. I have feelings for this guy, but all in all, I just want to be friends with him and I want to be myself around him. And I'm afraid. When/how should I tell him so it isn't awkward? Maybe come out of snapchat vs in real life? What should I say? How should I react to his reaction? Can I make it less awkward if he doesn't know how to react?

    I hope i didn't make this too long, this is jusy the first time I've felt unsure about coming out to someone so I'm kind of lost.
     
  2. Tomás1

    Regular Member

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    It's best to let go of the labels, & just go w the energy between u & him. I understand the desire to tell him you're bi - then he'd probably respond in a way where you'd know if he was straight, bi or gay - & you'd know more if something intimate was possible. But it could make him uncomfortable, & push him away.

    If you can chill out a bit, I'd suggest making a date w him, & then touching him, arm to arm, or brushing up against him - you can tell by his reaction whether he wants to be closer.

    Good luck!
     
  3. mirkku

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    Your friendship is relatively new. It might be best for you to wait until you come out to him, but it might also happen that you'll never even have to. For now, you could just relax and enjoy having a new friend you like to hang out with and exchange snaps with.

    And if the "flirty" snaps keep on coming your way, just playfully ask him "dude, you flirting with me?", and see his reaction. Remember that online and irl are two different worlds, and he might have very different reactions to you sending him flirty snaps, and you touching his arms or standing very close to him. If your assumptions are correct and he is also into boys to some extent, then maybe he is himself a bit confused and embarrassed about how/when to come out to you. Don't let this get in the way of all the positive things in this friendship! :slight_smile: There will be a time and the circumstances to come out, but there's no need to rush it.
     
  4. PFCMN

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    Thank you all so much! I'll take your advice and be patient with it all.