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Is my friend trying to make me come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Eddie Hitler, Jun 16, 2016.

  1. Eddie Hitler

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    :help: My best friend might be encouraging me to come out subliminally. The reason I think this is because often he talks about sexuality and stuff, for example he might say "I don't see why people would use 'gay' as an insult, because it doesn't matter if you're gay, it doesn't make a difference". This would be out of the blue, and he has been saying things like this frequently lately. He has asked me once "What would you say if I told you I was gay? Because if you told me I wouldn't mind, I'd just say 'okay'". I know he isn't gay, because I know who he has a crush on and it's a girl, but I think he might be hinting about me. Am I wrong? Is it that in actuality he is gay and he is trying to tell me? Or is he trying to make me come out? :help:
     
  2. mirkku

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    Oh dear... Seems like he is indeed trying to make you come out. But he seems cool about it, doesn't he? Perhaps you should just get it over with. :slight_smile: Do you think that you could / are ready for that?
    As for his crush on a girl, bi/pansexuality is not an option to discard at this point.
     
  3. Eddie Hitler

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    I am ready to come out to him, I was planning on doing it walking home from school tomorrow. He may very well be Bi or Pan though. He is someone who I can trust and know will support me, but it is still difficult.
     
  4. Sohryuden

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    Certainly sounds as if he's trying to encourage you. He seems like a great friend, and if he is indeed saying all this to get you to come out, then that's a pretty good sign that's he absolutely fine with it.

    Don't worry about it too much with this guy, he sounds supportive. Good luck and best wishes to you when you tell him :slight_smile:
     
  5. punkbird

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    When one of my friends suspected that I was a lesbian, she behaved in a similar fashion - bringing up LGBT+ topics, asking some questions about sexual preference, professing support for the gay community, and so on. Eventually she asked me outright if I was gay and (after an awkward silence) I admitted that I was and things were pretty cool after that.

    My guess with your friend would be that he thinks you might be gay and wants to show his support. Based on how he turned all the questions onto you, I'd guess that this is his aim and not coming out to you. (Obviously I don't know all the details of his behavior and could be totally, totally wrong.) I'd say that if you feel safe coming out to this guy - think that he'd be cool with knowing and wouldn't tell anyone without your express permission, et cetera - that it would probably be okay to do so, based on what he's saying. (He may even be trying to get you to come out first, I guess. This is all just based on the experience I had, so I don't know for sure.)
     
  6. Eddie Hitler

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    thanks for the replies. I told him today and was rather underwhelmed because either he didn't believe me or he just really doesn't care. He just didn't really have a response and we carried on talking about random stuff.