Okay, so I have fantastic friends that have one huge flaw: Most of them are homophobes. If I came out to them, I'm kinda scared I'll lose them. However, I feel the longer I wait, the worse it's going to get. Should I hold off in hopes that they will mature or find a way to tell them now?
Well, I gotta say I know how you feel. My best friend, not to mention my whole family, are on the homophobic side. But they're not gonna change while you wait in silence. When you come out, they'll either move forward, or be drastic, and saying nothing can't change that. Some people take a long time to do one or the other, and some people surprise you. Believe me, when you're ready to come out, you'll be so strong no one can hurt you. But it can still be kinda truamatic, so make sure you've got somewhere safe and comfortable and someone's shoulder to cry on.
How old are your friends? Sometimes people grow up and understand their wrong/childish views, sometimes they stay the same person forever. But it has already happened that some people reconsidered their views in a new light due to new situations - in your case, if your homophobic friends learn that their behaviour is hurting you, they might want to change that and finally get educated on the subject. Keep in mind that if you are teens, most of you might still hold the societal views of their parents/family as "what is acceptable". The group dynamic might also play a part here - if some influential people of the group says X, then agreeing on X might be the better solution for all. Now, consider this: you tell them now and you lose them, you can make other friends. If they are "fantastic", however, I have no doubt that at least a few of them will embrace who you really are with open arms. (As they should.) Perhaps you could confess it first to one friend who is not part of the homophobic bunch? That way, you might secure an ally. Best of luck! (*hug*)
I would suggest going for it just for the sake of getting this out of the way. It's an issue, I know the feeling. But if they truly cared for you as a friend, then they won't let their personal prejudices get in the way. Unfortunately, others believe far too strongly, and you can't change it about them. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or that there's anything wrong with them. You are who are, no amount of shock or disapproval is going to change that. Regardless of how they react, don't look back. It WILL hurt, but the people who care for you and support you will always have their hand on your back. Stay strong, and good luck to you.
A lot of my friends were homophobic or transphobic or everythingphobic when we were growing up. Most of them grew out of it. The ones that didn't? Well, I'm not friends with them anymore and I really don't miss them.
