hey guys please tell me what you think. This morning I'm in my sister's car, on our merry way. It was my two sisters and I in the car. We're talking like any other day and all of a sudden my middle ( lets call her Ella) gets all serious. followed by a Ella:" stephen we have to talk about something" Me:" what?" Ella: " we know" Me: "you know what?" Ella:" you know what I mean" Me: " no, I don't know, tell me!" Ella:" we know your secret, and I just wanna say that we love you anyways no matter what" "you don't have to keep hiding it from me, from us" ME " um..... I don't know what your talking about" ( I had a hunch but wasn't gonna come out and say it) Ella: "we know you like guys" we went back to back and which then was followed by me getting nervous and coming out( I thought what the heck I'm 24 already, they know). Anyways, After all this, I feel weird.....uncomfortable. I've never told a soul that I was gay and here I had my two sisters confronting me about it. Now I just feel so uncomfortable about them knowing i'm gay. I feel less of a man now( which I shouldn't and fault it on my internal homophobia). To be clear I'm not homophobic, by Internal homophobia what I mean is, that I haven't fully come to terms with my sexuality. I mean I know I'm gay but it hasn't fully sinked in. I guess my question is if any of you felt weird after coming out to someone? did you start questioning yourself again? and did it fade away? thank you
Yes I have. When I came out to my sister and my mom, I felt like our whole relationship had changed (they were supportive so it wasn't like they were upset with me). It was very difficult to talk about it wit them for a long time after they knew. That changes with time.Once you start accepting yourself, it becomes a lot easier to talk to others. You are no less of a man. You should be very proud of yourself for coming out.
thanks Confusedmoose, I really appreciate your reply to my post. I needed to be hear from someone that it was going to be okay. (*hug*)
yes, I def had that same feeling after I told my brother. It just takes some time, I told my brother in January this year and I'm so glad I did, nothing has really changed between us, its great. I still deal with a bit of internalized homophobia but its so much better than it was when I first came out to myself last October. Congrats on coming out, family is the hardest.
What you're experiencing is what Brené Brown calls a "vulnerability hangover". It happens when you've shared something very personal and vulnerable and uncomfortable with someone -- basically, information that could be used to hurt you -- and the next day (or sooner) you feel really shitty about it. It's entirely normal. And while there are varying arguments about whether it's ok to sort of "force the issue" with someone, it's clear that in this case your sisters did it because they care. So it sounds like an overall positive thing, and it sounds like you handled it really well.
