Hi guys. Just found this forum after extensive googling on ladies discovering their lesbianism a bit later in their lives. Short story--I'm 24, have been with many relationships with men (mostly unhealthy relationships), and everything is changing. A couple of years ago, I developed a fully-recognized crush on a female friend of many years--I did absolutely nothing about it and it disappeared. A year ago, I began to develop another crush on a different friend, and it started to feel more physical. I wanted to hold her and comfort and be with her. She's straight tho, so nothing happened. After that, I became obsessed with women, but the couple of girls I met up with just weren't my type at all, leading me to fear that maybe I was just making all this up. At that point I didn't want to be gay at all, it made me feel frighorned. 8 months ago I met a guy randomly and we started dating. I knew it was wrong but I liked the attention and the people he introduced me to. We had sex a lot, but it felt like I was performing...I tried to remember sex I'd had with all my past male partners but it was a blur...I realized I didn't like the type of sex I thought I liked, and I had just been acting out some sort of weird impulse that I couldn't put my finger on. I think back to my younger years and see some strange patterns I hadn't noticed--I always obsessed over women, had crushes on my best friends, wanted to dress like a guy but felt compelled to look girlish in order to be liked, etc. Now I am talking to a girl I work with, who is very out and has been from a young age. I am both exhilarated and terrified. I know she is into me, and I am very into her. The feelings i have are romantic....I fell asleep at her place a few nights ago and dreamed we made out...but I couldn't bring myself to make a move since it was our first time really hanging out, and she hadn't made any moves either. My main concerns: what if I do finally act on my desires and find that they are only fantasies, hurting her in the process? What if I'm really bad at sex with women? Why does the concept of being a lesbian resonate so WELL with me when I have no experience at this point?? The biggest one: what if I'm somehow making this up, or following false ideas in my head similar to the ones I had about men in the past?? I'm not coming to yall for answers, I know I need to grow off of my own experience, but I would love to hear y'alls insight and experiences of similar situations. It would be a great comfort. Thanks guys, Shelle
Have you told this woman you're questioning? If she knows that she'll know you are new to all this and a little nervous. Sex is about communication anyway it's about finding out what your partner likes and enjoys. You've said you've had these feelings for years not being nasty but you don't really know until you experience to be honest
