If you identify as a gay male, what makes you think you can tell if a girl is a lesbian? Do you rely on stereotypes? Do you assume all traditionally feminine girls are straight? I am genuinely curious because I have a lot of gay friends. I'm almost intimidated to come out to them- they have all been out for years and seem so comfortable and confident with who they are. I want to gradually hint that I'm a lesbian, but in a very subtle way. (I don't want it to seem awkward or forced. It's already embarrassing that I'm still in the closet.) I guess I'm just searching for any insight on what I could say or do that might tip them off. Thanks
Of course they register, even to me, a bisexual. The way I can usually tell: intuition, clothing, appearance, haircut, who they're with. U may say these r stereotypes… yes, but most lesbians give signals of their orientation.
I try to hold my assumptions and let others tell me who they are rather than the opposite even though I'm really observant. That being said, a lot of people wear who they are on their sleeve and so it's not difficult to get a pretty good idea of who they are. I worked with a guy who's really effeminate and could very easily pass as gay, and I assumed he was, but he's happily married to a woman and has a child. Intuition is a great tool but jumping to conclusions is still a risk.
I am often correct when I guess someone is lesbian. I don't really rely on stereotypes, I just sort of know, and I have been right every time. I can't do it with gay guys though, which would be a lot more useful to me.
It seems to be based on the person, more than the orientation. I'm a gay guy, and I probably have around a 50% chance in being correct for guys, and a measly 2% chance for women. I've known my best friend for 3 years, and I never realized that she was sexually confused. I saw my friend's ex (back when they were still together) and I mentioned to her that her boyfriend is probably gay. She didn't believe me, but they broke up later because of they guy's sexuality issues. If you want to hint it, show interest towards other women when you're around your friends, be more relaxed. Most of the time, instead of a gaydar, I rely on people's eyes. If you watch someone's eyes follow people of a specific gender, then that's probably what they're attracted to.
Some women are pretty "obvious", if you know what I mean. Of course, with my luck, a better indicator might be which hold my attention or are more pleasant to hang around with! :badgrin: To be fair, there are plenty of gay male members on the site with a wife and/or children.
