So, I've know I'm gay since I was 12 and I'm 20. I've been out to all my friends since I was 18 and I've never had a bad experence with coming out to them. My parents are somewhat liberal and accepting of gay people and I'm sure they'll have no issue with me being gay. But for some reason I just can't get myself to come out to them. I have no idea what I'm so scared of. This situation has caused me to have severe anxiety issues, there isn't a single moment in my life when I'm calm and that's been getting worse lately, I'm currently under medication for it. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, somedays I just start crying and crying and I don't know why, I have trouble sleeping and concentrating on studying or anything, some nights I don't sleep at all, and I feel like this situation has caused me to distance myself from my friends, so I've been feeling really lonely lately. My life is shit right now, like really really shit, I don't know how to solve this. I'm pretty sure that as soon as I tell my parents the truth, and subsequently my extended family, things will be better. I think deep insisde I'm still somewhat ashamed of being gay, even though I'm very open about it to my friends, the fact that I am extremely straight passing has contributed to my not ocming out to family. I need help, can anyone identify themselves with my story, liberal parents but scared to come out? I don't know what to do, why am I scared, I could really use some advice on how to overcome this fear.
I think it's natural to still feel this way because coming out does change things a bit. It took me forever to come out to my fraternity, even though I knew most would be somewhat accepting. All I have to say is I wish my family would be even half as accepting as your parents likely are. I haven't come out to them...they are very traditional.
I had the exact same experience. I knew my mom would be super chill about it, but it still took me about two years to muster up the courage to come out to her.
I totally understand how you feel, I have pretty liberal parents as well. Whats weird is while growing up my parents raised me more middle of the road conservative but as I got older and especially after I moved out they became way more liberal. I still cant bring myself to tell them I am gay and I have a lot of anxiety related to that, I'm pretty sure they would take it fine and they might even suspect it already,my brother who I live with knows and he was/is great about it. I dont know what it is but I think about telling them (mostly my mom) all the time. I dream about it, when I wake up its the first thing I think about sometimes. One reason I have not told them is me and my dad have never really been close and I dont want me being gay to drive us apart further, but thats just a fear of mine and probably would not happen. All the people here who have conservative/religious parents and came out to them, you are so brave. I dont know if this helps but you are surely not alone idor.
I don't know if it helps, but I found myself on the other side of this, as a 'liberal parent'. My daughter came out earlier this year. It was a surprise to me and my wife, but as parents, we want what's best for her, and we want her to be happy. We were pleased that she was able to come out to us at a time of her choosing. We were pleased that we were able to support her when she needed us. On a personal level, we also both were pleased that we discovered that we were as 'liberal' as we had claimed to be. Until you have to make some real decisions, rather than simply expressing hypothetical opinions, you don't really know if your heart will follow your head. In your case, your liberal parents must have their heads in the right place. That probably means their hearts are too, or soon will be (by which I mean that they are likely to be tactful and diplomatic, even if they find that they are struggling to reassess how they see you). If they are liberal, they will probably be grateful to you for coming out sooner, rather than struggling alone.
I don't think you have anything to worry about. It changes things; that's why it can be hard. My parents have many flaws, but homophobia isn't one of them. We are fortunate.
I'm kind of in the same position. I've told some of my friends, and even though I think my parents would be totally fine with it, I can't get myself to say it. I'm currently reading a coming of age-book about this whole coming out thing, and by each page I seem to get closer to doing it. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you managed to tell you friends, you'll soon be able to tell your parents. Let time do its magic.
When I first starting questioning, I used to cry a lot at night and I had a hard time going to sleep. It completely wrecked my sleeping schedule for about two weeks. I kept on imagining my parents reaction and thinking worst case scenarios. Sometimes I still have problems. I've told two people, and that's helped, and recently I've begin counseling, and I think that it's really helpful to talk to someone with an outside perspective. I don't have any advice, but you're definitely not alone.(*hug*)
Start with a friend/other close family member first. I had co-workers I could trust then my sister made a joke around Valentine's Once I told my sister who I'm close to I felt like I could tell anyone I feel truly cared for me. Mom and best friends were next and it really took a lot off my chest. About a 2 yr span for all that to happen but so worth it at the end. Hopefully you have someone close you can come out to "test the water" with. Even being on here helps but you don't know unless you tell them. It seems like they haven't been bigoted from what you typed so when you feel comfortable I'd suggest giving it a try. However long you need is up to you. Much love.
