I have accepted that I'm definitely not straight. I like women. I feel that I need to sleep with a guy before totally ruling that option out, but I am definitely NOT straight. I'm pretty sure that my parents will be supportive (my younger brother is homophobic so I'm not even hoping for his) and I'm almost positive that my mom already knows. But I can't bring myself to tell them, or be open about it to the rest of the world. I feel like there's something wrong with me- like I'm supposed to be way more...proud? Because, I don't know. I've accepted that this is the way I am. But I don't think I'm okay with it. And I don't know if this is just some kindof phase, or me needing to figure things out, or if I'm going to feel like I can't be honest with anyone for the rest of ever.
It's okay, and totally natural. I don't have any gay pride either. I keep thinking i'm supposed to buy it off eBay or Walmart.
I knew in was 100% gay in grade 6. And its not till now, my first year of university, that im actully proud of it and FULLY accepting of myself. I started off hating myself deeply, and wanting so badly to be straight...but now i would not be straight if i was offered a million dollars because i could never be someone else. I am who i am, and i dont want to be anything else. Faults and all, i love myself. I know that may be hard to come to now, but dont worry if your not a "proud gay" i wouldent even worry if you hate being gay, because it should change over time (*hug*)
I know the feeling myself - I'm still struggling to accept myself for who I am - you're not alone in this. It's not like there's a switch between "accept" and "struggle" - it's sometime that'll take time. There'll be times when you can feel totally at ease with yourself, then a few hours later be thinking "am I wrong about all this?" - that's certainly my experience.
yea, im kinda there too. ive accepted myself but every now and then i doubt myself. im like, "am i sure i like guys?" then ill see a hot man and woman and be like "yep. totally gay. that man was sooo fine! and... was there a girl?" lol
I think you need to be around more people who are ok with it, remember that it's not that big a deal and that it doesn't change who you are.
"Aisle 3, can I get a pricecheck on Pride, Fabulous Gay brand" I totally understand where you're coming from OP, it took me a long time to accept myself, to be comfortable with myself, to just be able to say "This is what I am". It may take some time, but you will become more comfortable with things. You may not ever parade down the centre of your town in a gay pride parade, but you'll find a state that's comfortable and natural for you.
Hey, As you can see from the posts above, this is normal to feel this way! I find it hard and know that this will change in time! Dont try and worry your self about the pride (or lack off) just worry about knowing who you are and what it is from life you want!! Also sleeping with a guy to see if it does some thing for you may not be the best thing to do.... If you meet a guy and you have feelings for him and you feel like you want to sleep with him then that is fine, but unless you WANT to sleep with a guy, i wouldnt!! But again this is down to you and how you feel! I am sure the time will come when you love who are, and you KNOW your family will also love you no matter what you do! Then the pride will come naturally!!! Good luck! Hope it works out well for you! James
Don't sweat it. I think most of us feel that way in the beginning. But the fact of the matter is, most of the time, we make a bigger deal of it than anyone else will. There's no hurry though. Just take your time. Good luck, and stick around here.
Hey, Now I can say I am proud but it takes a lot to get there! If you still think you need to prove it to yourself then maybe you are not as sure as you think. when I first new I was SCARED I knew I wanted children and the big white wedding but I had to realize are those things worth not being happy my ENTIRE LIFE (and now I realize I can have those things just a little different from what I had imagined). I used to drive to gay bars and sit outside too terrified to go in! It really helped when I made some friends in the gay community (approaching people at work who I thought may be gay and getting to know them since I am not very obvious I cound't wait for people to approach me), and having support! Then it all was a coming out extravaganza!! I look back and laugh about sitting outside the bar (which became my second home once I had friends to go with) then I started telling straight friends, and then parents and family. With each person who accepted me the way i was I felt a little more proud!! Now I am out and very proud (I drive a rainbow mobile LOL). But it is a process that took me over 7 years! Just knowing your not alone really helps. Don't worry figure yourself out and maybe by meeting that special someone it will make it all worth it!! I didn't come out to my family until I had found someone who I knew was worth it and I could rely on if things went array. best wishes and thoughts -Jen
