I'm no saint, but I'm not the devil either. I go to church, read the bible and pray everyday. Then, there's my grandparents. They live and breathe religion. A good thing and a bad thing. I know most christians/religious people are fine with gays, but they are not. My grandfather (who is like a father to me), regularly trashes openly gay people, and I'm pretty sure he says "faggot" as much as he says hello. I fear he will turn to violence once he finds out. My grandmother on the other hand, isn't violent or anything, but she can't stand the LGBT community. She believes were all just lost in God's eyes, or whatever bullshit she says when I bring up the topic of gay marriage or something like that. I don't plan on coming out to them any time soon. But what will I do when they find out? They'll eventually find out about my boyfriend or they'll why I haven't dated a girl yet. I fear they'll never speak to me again (or fucking disown me), once they find out. In the event this does happen, what do I do, and what do I say to them? :help:
I know you're only 15, but if you really feel they'll come to violence and/or disown you, getting together a plan to leave now is the best idea. You might have to just hide it until you can physically get somewhere safe. I'm not saying that's the only way though.
if you live with your grandparents and dont have a way to support yourself, which is likely as your only 15, then dont tell them until you can support yourself.
Im not hoping on coming out to them anytime soon. I don't live with them or anything, but they are a big part of my life. I'm just concerned that when the moment comes and they ask about my sexuality, I won't be ready. I'm afraid I'll either choke up and freak out, or lash out at them.
The best advice that I could give you is to come up with a safety plan so that you have people that can help support you until you're able to do so on the off chance that they find out. I noticed that you have come out to some people already so they may be good people to go to for advice as well. Also I wouldn't give up all hope on them accepting you. People's hate often stems from ignorance and if they have someone that they love unconditionally love that they find out is gay, they may start to change their perspective on things so they don't lose you. I definitely wouldn't come out to them now or any time that you still depend on them, but it's something to think about for the future.
OP, I can relate to your situation somewhat. I'm a Christian too, and so are my immediate family members. There's a lot of feelings on the table when it comes to this. You want to be able to be open and honest enough with those you love most to tell them what is going on inside of you. You also want to hang on to your faith in the process and continue to grow in the Grace and Love of Christ. Sometimes people of faith don't understand an issue like homosexuality because they themselves have never had to deal with it personally. It's always seemed distant and aloof to where they are. So it's easy to just write it off as an issue and forget the actual PEOPLE who are inextricably involved. Coming out may be a difficult and challenging process for you and your family. I think all of your faith might even be tested, but when our faith is held to the fire, it can end up coming out of that furnace stronger than ever. My advice is to take things very slowly and always proceed with prayer. Lay the matter and your concerns before Christ and allow His perfect peace to fill you up. Come out to God first, and allow Him to take the wheel from there. Lastly, remember that your family does love you very much even if they may have a hard time initially understanding what you are going through. I will keep you and your family in my prayers, friend. God bless and keep you!
