Hey EC, I'm glad to have found this little safe haven for me. I've known I'm gay since pretty much always, but I've been brought up in a relatively conservative family (I'm Latino, family is Catholic) and I've heard my mum say things like "ew how can they show this on TV?" (when a gay scene comes on.) For this reason, I don't think it's the best idea to come out to my parents yet. At the same time, I am very aware that I am 21 years old, I won't be this young forever, and I am very scared of missing out on the fun things you get to do when you're this age. I do have a good support group around me, and I am considering telling my best friend soon, so that might help release some of the pressure that is on me, however coming out still terrifies me. I was thinking of using some dating app to meet other people like me, since that might give me some encouragement down the track. However, I am aware that those apps are very sleazy and I am not looking for random hookups, just friendship at the moment (although I am open for those friendships turning into something more). Is using a dating app a good idea in my case? if so, which one? I was looking forward to using this forum to meet friends, but the fact that I need to make 50 posts before I get to use the chat room makes it hard. Is anyone in a similar situation as me or has been in the past? how did you go about it? Thanks in advance for the advice! Greetings from Australia.
Matt, First of all, I am sorry your situation is so complicated. I know it has to be hard feeling like you cannot tell those you love the most. Do understand that there is never going to be an ideal time to share this information with your parents. But regardless of the intensity and nature of their initial reaction, rest assured that they love you and sincerely want what is best for you. You may perhaps disagree with them when it comes to what that best is, but their sentiment will always remain the same. To be totally honest, I don't recommend sneaking around on a dating app, especially if you are looking first for a friendship rather than a fast hook-up. I've tried a few of those apps myself while in a similar mindset as your own. Trust me when I say that things get sleazy very quickly. Don't think that you'll end up finding the exception to that rule. People just randomly send you images of their "body parts." If you are looking for friendship online, then I think you are in a pretty good place here. I say try to cultivate some friendships here. Also, I am glad to hear that faith plays such a role in your family's lives. If there's one thing I can say with unwavering certainty, it is that maintaining your walk with Christ in all this is of unparalleled value. He knows what is going on inside of you even better than you do, and He loves you with a love that cannot be matched by any earthly substitute. When you feel alone like I do at times, it helps immensely to remember that you have Father in Heaven who is very much with you. Cry out to Him, and He will heal the deepest part of your wounds. Anyway, I sincerely hope this all works out for you, my friend.
Hi. I'm kind of in the same situation ("kind of", I mean, you're some years older than me and live on the other side of the globe. I guess it makes some difference). I want a boyfriend, but don't really believe in dating apps as the soloution. I've come to believe that the only solution is to wait; make time does its thing (but then again, you're 21, how much waiting?). If you want some online friends, I believe this site will help you in time (I myself have only been member a couple of days, but it seems like a great community). However, if you want "IRL friends", I guess you just need to get out, meet people. I don't have any better suggestions for you at the moment. Good luck!
To the original poster, I was very much in the same boat. Before I came out to anyone, I briefly had a dating profile and went on a few dates. I'm glad I did. I met some fantastic people, allowed me to talk with other gay people freely and openly. They gave me tips on coming out, as well as encouragement to be who I am. Having a relationship is difficult when you're not out, but it can happen. It's beneficial even if you just stay friends or acquaintances. You history sounds a lot like my own, and I can relate to s fair amount t if what you've written. If you'd like to talk more, write me ony wall
