So two friends know, they are cool with it, nothing has changed. wtf?!? lol. Didn't see that coming! It's so strange, I had always envisioned "coming out" as this epic moment where I tell one person and then the whole world knows...but it's really not like that. Now my thoughts are a little odd. Basically coming out to my two good friends was excruciatingly hard, but had a very happy ending. Now I'm kind of left with the feeling of "what am I waiting for?" with everyone else. I don't want to tell them (especially family) because I know it will be hard, and yet I also know deep down that EVENTUALLY I'm gonna have to tell them if I want to be able to live a normal gay life (and at 25, I'd like that to start soon!!). I guess what I want to know is: once you started coming out, did you just tell everyone you wanted to, or did you take time to adjust after each person you told?
I started to come out in pieces. I told a few people at a time then told my parents a few weeks later. This weekend I plan to tell my brother. It's totally up to you. Remember there is no race in coming out. Do it when you are ready.
Oh! I'd also like to add: When you started coming out, had you already had a gay relationship? Sometimes I think I should get out there and experience "the gay scene" BEFORE I come out.....but in my specific situation, there is a big risk that my friends or family would find out through someone else (there are several people I know that live in the gay village, it's not a very big stretch to think they might see me and word might spread back to my parents). Which leads me to my conclusion that I should just tell my family. I'd rather they hear it from me. And THEN I can do all the gay stuff I want without worrying about who will see me and who might spread the word!!!
^ :roflmao: There's more than one, actually. I didn't come out to everyone at once. Not at all. It took me months to tell the handful of people that now know. So don't pressure yourself. Just do what feels right. Good luck - and welcome to EC!
I'm somewhat the oddball... I went from completely closeted to completely out in less than three weeks. Once I got past the first couple, it just kept getting easier and easier. FWIW, too, I was also 25 when I came out. Of course you should go at your own pace, but I found it was like pulling off a band-aid. Doing it slowly pulls at all the hairs and hurts a lot. Doing it quickly is one brief sting and it's done and over. Good luck!
hmm. well I did it REALLY slow at first, I told 2 friends then left it for two years before I told anyone else, then I told everyone within a few months!
well, i heard of a particular street... what was it called... church street? something religious which was funny b/c it was ironic. lol
I generally like to plan important stuff way in advance, so coming out is no exception (the first time was pretty unplanned, though). For the ten or so people that now know, I each tried to tell personally in a closed setting, or in a well-thought-out letter. That said, it only took me a month to come out to these ten people, arguably the ones I spend the most time with. Ten or so more to go, and I will have told anyone who really matters. I'd call that pretty quick... I do not now, nor have I ever had any kind of relationship. The reasons I didn't pursue one are many and varied, from living with my parents until a year ago, to self-loathing for the better part of my life. It should be happening in the future, I hope.
Ah Toronto... Such a brilliant city! and yeah, it's Church Street in what's officially known as the Church-Wellesly district, but really known as the gay village. What's funnier is that there is actually a magnificent old church on Church Street (hence the name) in the gay village, and Church Street is home to a neat little fetish fair, as well.
I know. When I came out to my mom a few days ago she wasn't even phased. And honestly, she didn't care. I was interrupting Scrubs so she bade me go away. Lol It was so anti-climatic, I was actually disappointed. My policy, and I think it works well for me, is unless they ask, there's no need to advertise. I mean you can put a bumper sticker or something on your car, but I don't go around announcing it to the world. What the hell do I gain that way? Certainly not understanding. But if someone asks I just tell the truth. And if they want to Bible quote me, and I do it right back. I did practice after all. Lol
I came out bit by bit, over a few years, a few people at a time. When I first started coming out, I hadn't had a relationship; when I came out to the final people (my parents) I kind of had (very long story). People might have thought I was less legitimately gay because I hadn't had a girlfriend, but I didn't really care - they weren't the ones who'd spent years agonising over it.
Heh, that's how I felt when I came out. I always imagined I would just be so relieved because it's finally out there. There wasn't much of a big change though, maybe because I wasn't putting up as much of an act as I thought I was? I only told close friends at first. Towards not-so-close people, I wouldn't mind telling them or someone else telling them, but I wouldn't bring it up. I still can't tell my family though.:icon_sad:
Since I've come out life has been really a lot easier and truthfully more fun! you get to be yourself all the time and thats all that matters
I'm still in the process of coming out piece by piece. Mostly it's whenever somebody asks me about it, as long as they're not being hateful: Case in point, one kid asked me during a discussion of my religious beliefs: "But wait, aren't you gay? I thought gays didn't believe in God." After explaining everything wrong with that statement, I walked away and never EVER talked to that kid again.
