The past few weeks have been REALLY stressful; maybe even the past 3 months or so. Anyway; I have a habit of just holding emotions in and eventually my bubble bursts and I cry like a baby who's been candy-napped. Normally I can feel these out bursts of tears creeping up and I think it's about that time. Not at this particular moment but if things don't look up within the next week or two I'll probably cry. I just want to feel better soon. There's a big weight on my shoulder and it won't go away. Part of it's caused by the sexuality deal, having to keep it to myself to keep my friends and social status and the fact that I can't really "date" the people I want to because I'm not out; and the guys that I do crush on send mixed signals and my feelings get hurt. It just sucks that I can't be myself without major reprucussions and I feel weak and helpless because I won't man up and be 100% myself instead of just 98%. : / And school is aggravating the piss out of me. I'm not a big fan of learning. I like the feeling of knowing stuff others don't but I don't like the actual learning the stuff. Track is hard for me and recently I busted my butt and got really scraped up but I still have to go to practice and it was rough even before that! Band is a curse and a blessing, I signed up for two bands and kind of regret it because I really don't have time to learn the new stuff so that sucks I'm trying to squeeze that in. I'm pretty much ALWAYS tired and I don't even like coming home for the right reason anymore. I'm normally more worried about what's for dinner, when I'm going to get to shower, do my homework, and go to bed. I really don't like my step brother; I've never disliked anyone more than I dislike him and I live with him. : | I feel like I can't even slip up a little bit without having someone on my butt like I'm stupid or a slacker or something. I'm just frustrated with EVERYTHING. I need a break so spring break needs to get here right now I'm falling to pieces. *sigh* I feel a little better since I wrote all this. Feel free to comment. Any other tips on how to stop being a big baby and to just suck it up get over it and be happy with my otherwise terrific like (no sarcasm) On the bright side I'm going to Europe! Yay! : ) Just thought I'd add that in there to cheer myself up. Lol.
Why do you dislike your brother? At least you have one... That's just typical school life btw. Save for the whole gay thing but that can become typical for gay guys. It's all part of life.
If you knew the kid you would understand why I don't like him. You can have him if you want. I'll Fed-Ex him to you. : ) And I figured that's just regular school stuff I just feel like I can't breathe ya know? Guess I've just got to toughen up. Oh fun.
Well, explain him. It's hard to sympathize with you if I don't know why. You can tell me the Queen of England needs to be assassinated or George Bush should be bombed, but unless you give me a good reason, it's hard to just do it. Lol Yeah, I totally get you. College/Work together can do the same to me. Well, it does do the same. I look at it this way, I have 3 jobs.
Toughen up? Nah, I don't think that's gonna be good in the long run. It sounds like you've got way too much on your plate. Shoot, you should be glad you're not out and dating because then you'd have something else to take all that extra time you have :dry: It seems like it's time to give yourself a break. Maybe give up something. Or talk to your parents or a counselor about being overwhelmed.
When is your spring break? It sounds like you might benefit from talking to someone about all the stuff that's bothering you. Is there anyone that you talk to about all this? And, is there perhaps a counselor at school that you could talk to? It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. Is there anything that you're doing that you could stand to lose, or perhaps do at a later time? You're not going to be able to be less tired and have more time if you're still doing all the same stuff that you are... You can always vent to us; we're here to listen. And, if you ever want to talk to me you can always PM me. I hope you feel better soon. (*hug*)
^ Agreed! No wonder you're overwhelmed!!! You have way too much stuff going on. Real life IS NOT like HSM. Real people DO NOT date, and star in the school musical, and captain the basketball team, and look amazing, and have a beat up old truck that they work on themselves... (I took my daughters to see it, OK?!?!? :dry So perhaps you need to figure out what you don't want to do, and make the tough decision to bow out of it. At a minimum, decide that you won't sign up for this much stuff next year. It's simply TOO MUCH! In the grand scheme of things, your employer isn't going to care if you were on the track team AND two different bands. But they will care about whether you graduated. And burning yourself out (which is what it sounds like you're doing) isn't going to help you in the long run. If things aren't good at home, you should say so to your mom / dad. You're not alone - they have your back. And honestly, I don't really think people 'date' all that much at 15. You're not really missing out on anything. You've got lots going for you, like trips to Europe, so try to stay positive and focus on the good stuff.
