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How Do You Guys Deal With Crushes?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by tazz, Mar 9, 2009.

  1. tazz

    tazz Guest

    ...because I have one on a guy at school, and man...I hate how I freeze up and all. I try to act as normal as I can, trying to use the stuff I learned on how to deal with public speaking, but wow, it's like crushes have these powerful phermones that just paralyze you or something. Thing is, he's super-shy too, and I don't get to talk to him as much because I don't see him often...but when I do I can't seem to fight off the "he's analyzing your every move" mindset.

    Oh, and I honestly don't know if he's gay or not, I'm assuming not...but really, I honestly wish I didn't have feelings or crushes like this, it seems to be more of an infatuation more than anything else.

    How did you (or rather, how do you) deal with them?
     
  2. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    Depending on the person I either get closer and try to be friends, or sink into depression because he already has a clique.
     
  3. notquitebutch

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    All you can really do is just to try and talk to him. Maybe if you guys have some of the same friends, go hang out in a big group to get the 1-on-1 awkwardness away? Or if you guys are in school/share classes, try to partner up with him on schoolwork or something.

    Just put yourself out there... the more nervous you are, the more nervous he'll be around you.
     
  4. diegon3

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    I had a crush on a straight guy. but keep in mind that if you don't know there's a 50% chance about him being gay or not just ask around your friends might know
    for my crush it helped to hear him say that a gay guy hit on him and he said that he didn't roll that way
     
  5. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there! There is no denying that dealing with crushes is hard. They can (as you said) be paralyzing and sometimes we are not even sure what to say because you try hard not to say the wrong things. Having a crush on someone will happen and continue to happen but every time we go through this, we learn things about ourselves and also how to deal with crushes.

    I think a good way to go about it would be to get to know him a bit better first. Try to engage him in a conversation which will allow you to get to know him but also tell him a few things about yourself. If you have a chance, grab a coffee or a bit to eat. Often as we get to know someone, we will learn as to whether there is a chance that something will develop. If nothing develops or your crush fades on him, at least you have a friend with whom you can talk to.

    At the same time, and given that you don't know his sexual orientation (and given that you are assuming that he is straight) sometimes it is better to move on.

    While trying to move on (and this is something that has helped me personally), create distance as much as possible by getting to know new people, by spending more time with friends, and doing other things. When you find yourself having a crush on someone, always think about yourself too.

    Hope this helps a bit!