Right now I so desprately want to leave. I don't want to be here at all anymore. I'm tired of everything. My parents are always to tired to see what's going on. I want to just go away. I don't want to be in this house. I don't want to be in this town. I'm tired of waking up everyday with a smile on my face, just for that smile to be crushed by 3,000 ton weights of problems. I'm tired of seeing people I know and love so happy when I'm not. I am so tired of putting on a fake smile, forcing my laughter, and pretending it's all okay. It's not. It's not even close. I want so badly to tell them my problems. I want so badly to confide in them, to be able to talk to them about what I'm going through. But on so many levels, they won't understand. I know that I can talk to you guys here on EC. But right now I just need someone to look me in the eyes and tell me that its not ok. Tell me that i should cry. Tell me that someday, even though right now things aren't ok, they will be someday. I can always tell myself that, but I always lie. How can I trust myself? All I need is for someone to hold me. someone to love me. Someone that can look into my eyes and now something is wrong, someone that can see past my fake smile, someone that can hear the cry behind my laugh. I want to know that there's someone out there that can see that. i just want to be seen. im just so invisible. i cant take it. i just want to go. i dont want to see my parents anymore i dont want to look at my friends i dont want to hav to sit in a stupid desk 5 times a week and learn about things i dont need to know.:tears::help::tears::help:
First off; (*hug*)(*hug*) I think everyone feels like that or has felt that way before. (I know I do :'D) It's hard to give detailed advice without knowing exactly why you're upset, but I'll try my best If you're upset about being... well, upset, do something to make yourself happier. To give you a reason to get up in the morning. Find some new hobbies, get a haircut you've always wanted... do SOMETHING to boost your confidence up. Trust me, you'll start feeling better daily when you have something good going on that you enjoy. As far as your friends go... how come you don't think they'll understand you? I'm sure if they're really your friends, they'll try to help you as much as they can if you can explain things to them in a way they can get. (*hug*) Just hang in there, things will get better!
I've seen you post about this regularly. Are you doing what I recommended? You know, like...using your voice? You have it for a reason! Use it! Don't be a slave to yesterday hon. Don't repress everything. If you want to feel happy, be happy, and enjoy life--SAY so! No one will pay attention unless you open that mouth of yours. No one will know you're hurting unless you leave puddles of blood... But silence must be heard. That's all.
ya i know i post about this a lot. ive been wanting to leave this place since 5th grade. then in 7th grade i actually planned a run away. i just dont want to think about anything. finding my voice.......im painfully shy. well more lik quiet. i can give people advice but i cant tak it. i cant listen to myself. or build up the courage to talk to anyone else, especially in person. its extremely hard for me to make descisions and i fight with myself constantly about what i want to do. even the littlest things. so choosing my words choosing who to talk to about stuff is really hard for me.
I think he means weak, like not going out and fixing what you're upset about. Is there anyone you can talk to to help you talk to people better/make decisions? Like a guidance counselor or something?
ya ive talkd to her ocasionally. but when im there my mind blanks nd i cant remember what i wanted to talk about. so i end up babbling about my family and not even myself
Perhaps you should write down the thoughts or emotions you are feeling in a moment like this, in a private notebook or something like that, so you can then give the counselor your "notes" and get the feedback you are searching for without the chance of being distracted to other topics.
huh. every time i do this. post my feeling on here. i end up laughing at myself. like thinking im stupid for feeling depressed. is that normal? or healthy?
I second the notes. I've done that when I needed to remember things to talk about with someone, and it makes it -so- much easier. I get what you're saying about laughing at yourself. I do the same exact thing when I post some problem I'm having. I'm not sure if it's normal, but youre not alone there.
by not fixing wat im upest about makes me weak? well ya i get that. so nvm. but i dont know how to fix it or how to even help myself. sometimes i dont even know what my problems are
Sarah, Being 14 is hard at the best of times. But it's even harder when you're questioning your orientation, or have problems at home, or both. But it really will get better. How your life is now at 14 is nothing at all like what it will be like when you're 20, or 25, or 40. It gets better - even approaching 40! (Take it from me!) It's important to focus on the things that you can change though, and not dwell on the things that you can't. I keep hearing that you want to run away. You want to leave. But really, how practical is that? How does that set yourself up for success in the future? It simply doesn't. So stop tormenting yourself with these thoughts of leaving. Accept that you're going to stay at home. Accept that you need to go to school. Accept that not everyone is going to like you. And accept that you'll have some days that are better than others. The other part is finding the courage to change the things you can. You can voice your opinion. You can ask your parents for help, or at least let them know that you are unhappy and need help. You can decide that you're going to make the most of every day rather than dreading every day. You can decide to make a new friend by introducing yourself at school or joining a club or joining a team. You can channel your feelings in a productive way by writing in a journal why you're sad, but at the same time why you're thankful. I've been depressed. I still get depressed. And yes, when I sometimes reflect on why I was depressed it is often silly. However, it doesn't change the fact that I WAS really depressed over something. Depression can be physical too, as a result of chemical imbalances in the brain. So medication might be helpful. But exercise can also release 'feel good' chemicals in the brain. Going for a walk when you're down might help. Depression is also sometimes a result of anger turned inwards at ourselves. Why might you be angry with yourself? Upon reflection, be sure to consider whether the things you are angry about are things you can change, or things you have to accept because you can't change them. Remaining angry at or about something that you cna't change means you'll forever be angry - and that's no way to live. This is all pretty deep stuff. I had trouble coming to terms with it at 35, never mind 14. But try, because it really is the way everyone needs to look at their life and the world around them. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat further.
Sarah your feeling are not stupid or..... they are your true feelings. I am in agreement that wrtiting them down would help and making a list for your counselor. Don't erase anything!!! It you thought it and wrote it down then its valid and not Stupid...and I am sure your counselor won't think so either, they are not there to judge or change your mind just to help. It is normal to doubt yourself. When your taking that bubble bath make a list of just 5 things. Then maybe 5 more tomorrow when you get home from school thats a start. Even if its not questions just feeling that confuse you, or situations that have happened that are bothering you That is 10 things you can share with a counselor. I know I suggesting journaling for yourself before and that may not be your thing so find what it. Maybe its blasting your music, or punching a pillow, or drawing, or going for a walk whatever helps you calm. Have you ever tried Yoga? Well best of luck -jen
This is a really good suggestion. When I was going to a therapist she recommended that I keep a diary of my emotions and feelings. It really does help. You can then take it in with you to talk. It helps you remember what was bothering you at the time you were writing and then he or she will be better able to help you.
im so sorry i know what you mean. sometimes i feel the exact same way as you do....just run away and never come back,,,getting sick of everyone around me...feeling like im wearing a smiling mask, but inside, just falling deeper and deeper into an abyss. but u know what? we all feel this way a lot, and ur not alone. ur only 14. it's a confusing age to begin with (all those hormones and stuff u know?) plus, there's a sexual orientation problem too, so it's really tough, i can totally understand you. but if u just hang in there, im sure things will get better. there's definitely a brighter future, and you'll make it! just don't forsake it. as other people said, make sure u write down ur feelings/problems/emotions so that when ur talking to a counselor or a therapist or anyone else, u could really address what's going on your mind, and get a proper advice, comfortings...etc just stay strong!!! (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
Does anyone on here feel others emotions? Like what I'm saying is. Sometimes when I'm talking to a friend about something that happened or one of my family members or their problems. I start to feel horrible. I feel they way they do. Does anyone experience that?
Yeah, it means you're a compassionate, empathetic person. You shouldn't let OTHER people's problems become your own, though.
