So....I'm trying to figure out how to come out to my dad. I've been questioning things for the past couple years or so and told my mom within the last few months that I think that I'm bisexual. She said she was a little surprised but has been supportive and open to having discussions about it. I still haven't managed to figure out how to bring it up to my dad though. He--along with my stepmother--were both emotionally abusive to me growing up (mainly about appearance/weight, among other things). We haven't had the best relationship, rarely do either of us call each other and I don't visit him often because he lives on the other side of the state. But I've tried throughout the years to improve on the relationship and talk to him about it, but he refuses to recognize any problems. The talk's usually end in him yelling at me and berating me for things, and I usually just break down and cry uncontrollably (and like physically unable to say anything) because I can't handle it. In some ways, I feel like he doesn't deserve to know at all. In other ways, I feel like it would help me feel better that it wasn't bottled up. Honestly, sometimes I feel like if I came out and he disowned me, I really wouldn't care. Sorry for such a rambling post, it's just been something I've needed to get out for awhile. Would appreciate any advice you guys have.
Well, it depends on how much you want to come out to your dad. Yes, I get that you want to not keep it bottled up, but if you feel that it won't end well, then I would just wouldn't tell him. I hope that helps.
I'm probably going to take some more time to think about things before I say anything to him. Who knows, I might not ever bring it up. I've just seen stories where people would tell their parents/family and they didn't like it at first, but came around to it eventually. Guess I just have to figure out if it's worth it. Thanks for the advice, it does help to have a more objective opinion on the situation.
He diesn't really sound like a decent guy if you end up crying after talking to him. Coming out may make things worse, but he will find out sooner or later (most likely). Perhaps it's best to just get it off your chest?
Yes it is true that people take time and may eventually come around. However from your explanation of you relationship with your father, it already appears to have issues. I would only come out to him if you genuinely believe it will improve things and/or you don't care for his reaction. But I can't imagine it going down smoothly with someone who is already abusive and is prone to that behaviour. Lastly if you do decide to come out to him, lean on your mum for support. From what I've read I assume you live with her. But yea ask her for her support of your dad turns sour. Hope this helps. (*hug*)
