Hi guys, This is a bit of an update for me... Today i went to a friends place with Aaron and his brother. I guess i should name these two... how about we call Aaron's brother James and my friend Kieran? This will all make a great deal more sense if i explain these people a bit - they have some rather interesting personalities behind them. James is a very... Out there kind of person. He's the type of guy who is always laughing and poking fun at other people. He's a great person in small doses, but he does begin to grate on your nerves after a little while. I know for a fact that James is gay - he's rather obvious about it and tends to use quite a bit of gay related humour... sometimes a little explicit. Kieran is a bit of a loose cannon... He's the type of person who has a natural cruel streak, and a rather dark sense of humour. He is also, to the best of my knowledge, gay. He hasn't said the words as such, but by the amout of time he spends with James and the amount of rather blantant gay humour the pair of them use does kind of point to it... In all honesty i don't particularly like him but he's my "friend" and i can't really do much about it. Aaron... Where do i start? *blushes deeply* He's a bit shorter than me, has beautiful chin length blonde hair, blue eyes and a smile that is utterly irresistable. Wait... i'm describing personality aren't I? :icon_redf He's a bit of a two sided person, he's generally a very happy and all around great person to be around. On the other hand though, he can get fairly angry... Mostly at his brother. James loves prodding Aaron and getting him worked up over next to nothing, and Kieran isn't much better. Anyways, back to the story. While we were at Kieran's house, Kieran started annoying Aaron. Aaron doesn't like Kieran... AT ALL. I think the only reason he tolerates him is because he has to stay with his brother... And possibly because of me? I could just be dreaming... I took Aaron's side of their argument, and Kieran told me to shut up and stay out of it. That snapped something in me. I don't like him as it is, and now he's telling me not to stand up for someone he is being deliberately mean to? Someone i like? A LOT? I think i actually considered physical violence at this point... I am a pacifist, and i hate any form of violence. The very thought of punching someone or firing a gun actually makes me feel sick. I resisted though... Kieran is much bigger than I am and violence does not solve anything. James didn't really do or say anything during all of this, his boyfriend was being horrible to his brother, and he stood by and did nothing. The argument ended, and Aaron was still simmering about it. Screw all the problems... I just wanted to go over and hug him better. I got up and went over to him, and was going to... but i chickened out. I just patted him on the head and said something comforting, cursing myself for being such a coward the whole time. And then, James says "It looked like you were going to hug him." I had no idea what to say here... so didn't say anything. I did want to hug him. Soon afterwards Aaron decided to leave. I packed up my stuff and decided to go as well, I was feeling very angry towards my "friends" at this point and decided it wasn't worth risking it any further... I mumbled some excuse about wanting to get home because it was getting late. As i was about to leave, Kieran said something like "i know why you're really going." I couldn't trust myself to say anything, so i just got on my bike and rode off with Aaron. We barely said a word the whole way. I was watching him, and he still seemed to be angry, but he wasn't angry at me at least. It felt SOOOOO awkward though, i could just feel the tension all the way until we finally took different paths to get home. We can generally talk really freely with each other, and this was just abnormal. I feel really confused... I tried to write down everything that happened as accurately as i could. Can someone try to make sense of this for me? I don't know what to do with my friends... Right now i don't want to talk to them ever again, but if i don't then i might not be able to see Aaron as much. I hate abandoning friends, but i feel i'm going to have to. And i hate the very though of not seeing Aaron, it would make me even more depressed than i already am. I like him way too much... Any and all help is appreciated here. Kaleb.
If all that had happened to me I think I would write it down too, you must've been typing for a half hour lol. I think you were right to not try and punch kieran, but I do feel that you should've stood your ground a little bit better. Sometimes keeping quiet isn't always the best solution. As far as james goes when he said that it looked like you were going to hug aaron, I probably told him so what? That's what I would've done not neccesarily what you should've done. What kept you from asking aaron if everything was alright? I would have said something before splitting ways, again I was not there so maybe that was the right course of action. Also has james said anything to you since then about it? Its gotta suck being in that position, I do feel for you.
Firstly I think you are way to liberal with your use of the word Friend. Apart from Aaron these are not your friends, they are annoying people that you have to put up with in order to see your friend Aaron. One way to deal with this is simply invite Aaron to hang out with you, just the two of you or with other friends... not his family and see where your friendship takes you. It is unfortunate for Aaron that he is living in such a hostile environment. Psychological bullying is bullying none the less and if he is in no position to leave that makes him very vunerable. He might really need a friend in you at the moment who he can open up to and say all the things he feels about his brother and Kieran without betraying family loyaltys (since you are all supposed to be friends). Bullys like James and Kieran are infact weak insecure people who can only boost themselves up by putting other people down, just try and be their for Aaron so that he doesn't feel too alone against these two very nasty people.
I didn't say anything about it because, as i have said, I am a coward. I am a very passive person and tend to let things happen to me... I wish i could be more open and defend myself more but it just isn't in my nature to do so. This happened this afternoon, so no i haven't said anything else to James. I'm NOT looking forwards to school tomorrow, i'm going to have to face the pair of them :S Kaleb.
On a side note.... These are not my only friends. I have a number of other friends i am much closer to and are a much more positive influence. My best friend is called Pat. He is 100% straight (he's been dating a girl i used to have a crush on for about a year now o.o). Didn't want to leave the wrong impression that if i left these two i wouldn't have friends anymore... Kaleb.
I don't think that anyone would've really thought that you didn't have other friends. Maybe this confrontation is a chance for you to come out of your shell a bit. Will it be akward and slightly (k might be more than slight lol) uncomfortable? You bet, lol, but once you pull yourself out a bit I think you will feel a lot better. If these two are going to be real jerks about it then do what I would just ingore them, cause as louise said bullies are very fragile minded. Ignoring them will do you a world of good (even if u only ingore them for a little bit). BTW I sorta forgot your locale lol, when you said "afternoon" I was like wtf? lol. I didn't realize it was nighttime for you while being early morning for me lol. Yes I'm a little slow
I'd say James and Kieran aren't really your friends. They just have other people around to annoy. Somehow this makes them feel better about themselves. However, Aaron does sound like a friend, so I'd say it's worthwile sticking with him and supporting him, both in good and in bad moments (lol, I don't intend to make this sound like a marriage). Just try to make more of a stand. It's hard to do this if the situation has already gone sour, but if you see the signs ahead of time, it's generally easier to steer the conversation into less dangerous territory. And don't mind their insinuations. In highschool, making gay remarks is practically a sport anyway. Just ignore them. Hardly anything they can do about that.
