I am a 52 year old woman who has been bi-curious for many years. I have just come out as bisexual to a few people and I am beating myself up for not doing this many years ago. I live in Texas which is very intolerant and a small town which makes it worse. I have a new GF who has been in the lifestyle for a long time and is out to everyone. I feel I should out myself but don't know how to do it. Some people will have to fine out soon and I am scared. I feel so foolish because I am a mature woman and shouldn't worry about what others think of me. Any advice and suggestions?
Hi Carolyn. I'm glad you found this site, because I expect you'll gain a lot from our collective experiences. I came out in my 30s - still in the process really - and I had the same fears and doubts as many of the young people here, and I'm sure not unlike what you're feeling as well. We all care about what others think of us. We have to be confident enough in our own beliefs that we don't let the intollerant beliefs of others get us down. Suggestions would include: Be sure you're comfortable with being bisexual. Hang around here - it really helps. Come out to the people that matter the most. Once that's done, it really doesn't matter who knows and who doesn't and you can relax. Come out at your own pace. It isn't a race. Good luck!
Hi Carolyn welcome to EC. don't feel stupid everyone does things in their own time and even though I myself am out I still know a lot of woman (older especially) who are in the closet. Some of that in generational and some I bet is environmental (I live in rural Maine). But no matter what age it is SCARY. Just remember to love yourself and others will too. Anyone that does not accept you for who you are and is happy for you that you have found someone to share your life isn't worth worrying about what they thing anyways they would not be a healthy person to have in your life. Talk to your GF , start small with just a few friends and with each person that accepts you it will get easier. You are at a better starting point than most because you have a partner who supports you and you have the wisdom and maturity to know yourself and handle situations better than a lot of teens who are just figuring it out and are lost in their emotions! Best of luck and know you are not alone. Keep reading the threads and I'm sure you will find lots of support here.-Jen
Hi Carolyn, and welcome to EC! Don't feel foolish, everyone cares to some extent as to what others think about them. And especially in the case of sexuality, because unfortunately, we can be shunned for it... However, I agree (of course) with Jen and Jim. Being comfortable is the most important part, learning from your GF, and perhaps hanging around here, will help at least a little bit. There are many supportive, kind, and intelligent people here to help you. I wish you the best of luck. ~ Melissa
Welcome to EC Carolyn! I would talk to the people you know and trust most first. The more you come out, the easier its going to be. Is there a local PFLAG chapter close to you? www.pflag.org It would help to have people you can talk to and find support.
