So last night I came for the first time to a friend of mine. I am a senior in college and he had graduated 2 years ago and was in town visiting. We went out and had some drinks and came back to my house where he was crashing for the weekend. He started pouring his heart out about an ex-girlfriend who is a friend of mine and I finally was like f#*k it what to I have to loose and told him. He was shocked at first but took it really well, even saying that he wanted me to live with him when I graduate. I guess you could say that I would be the last person to "go off" on someones "gaydar". He wanted to ask a ton of questions and I let him. It felt good to answer them and to get someone elses perspective. I asked him to not tell anyone and I really hope he honors my request. It feels good to have atleast one person in the know, but at the same time it is uncomfortable and awkward. I dont really know what the next step should be...Do I keep on telling people? There are a lot of friends that I feel like I could tell but with all that is going on at this time in senior year I dont know if it is the right time. My school is small and I am pretty well known on campus and if this were to get out it would be everywhere in a day or so. I am still confused but atleast I took the first step.
Hi there! Congratulations on coming out to your friend and the first person! I think it is really good that you guys talked and that he is accepting and that you can trust him. No worries, it is normal to feel awkward and uncomfortable at first, because you let go of something that you have kept inside of you for a while. But in a couple of weeks you will have gotten used to it. It is really up to you as if you want to come out to other friends. If you feel that it would be good that one or two more friends know then give it some thought as to whom you would like to come out to. That said, take your time and only come out if you think or feel that it is a good idea. As you have mentioned that you are bit worried that word might spread, and there are a lot of other things going on, maybe wait until a few things have calmed down a bit. Coming out isn't a race, and you don't have to be out to all your friends at once. Take your time and follow what you feel comfortable with. Hope this helps a bit! Congrats on your first coming out!
I know the hardest words to say are "I am gay" ... I remember saying it for the first time to my mum and it sounded wierd & wrong ... *pats on the back*
Congrats! I bet that is a load off your chest. As for the follow-up: you're hardly obliged to do a mass coming out now. If you want to come out further, do so to people you can trust to keep it secret for as long as you wish.
Thanks for the advice. Last night my roommates were asleep upstairs and my friend and I talked until 4 am. We were a little drunk and were probably being louder than I thought. My roomates dont know Im gay but I feel like they could have heard the conversation. Our house is small and noise travels everywhere. Should I just feel them out and see if I can tell or should I just come out to them. I just dont want it to be awkward between us, I live with them.
It's entirely up to you. If you feel weird about the whole thing, you can tell them. But if you're happy with them not knowing, you're under no obligation to tell them, either. Lex
If they did, then they did. No biggie. If you hate not knowing, why not approach it from that angle? "Fred and I were up pretty late last night, drinking and talking. Did I disturb you guys much last night?" Lex
