Well when I was younger I used to be a very confident person(around 10yo), but I don't know why i just found it harder to speak to people taht I don't know, I get nervous around alot of people even friend's Iv known for a while now. I care alot of what other people think of me(Yeah i know I shouldn't but can't help it >.<). - I also stutter some times, not often though just when nervous. I guess im not that social now, I also have trouble thinging of stuff to talk about, I got alot to say about things but can't always word them the way Im thinking about them, which makes me feel stupid in some ways, I camn be a bit of a boring person, a nerd I guess. Is there anything I can do to build some confidence and social skills cuase this realy sucks. thanks for reading
I think everyone gets nervous with strangers. I used to be a really shy person (really really shy) untill I went to high school and then I started to talk to people. The important thing to remind yourself is: everyone is human, if you smile, they'll smile back. As long as you're nice to them, they cant do anything to you... so you shouldnt be scared in a way to be surrounded by people you dont know. Everyone cares about what others think about them otherwise they wont even need friends. Try thinking up a few positive things about yourself. Try approaching someone you know and start a conversation... you dont even have to talk- you can just ask questions and listen. Then you'll feel it's not that bad after all. I hope I've helped you a little bit... not really good at giving advice about self confidence-- lot's of people I know thinks I have too much. lol. which isnt a good thing either.
Perhaps a public speaking class? I know it doesn't build confidence but it might help you say what you want to say when you want to say it. It might help with making you more at ease talking to people. Also, I know that we have social classes in the US which try and focus on helping social skills. Do you know if there's anything like that in the UK? Do you tend to talk fast? Perhaps you're talking so fast that you're stumbling over yourself when you speak...
Well I'm not the best person to ask, cos I don't have much in the way of practical advice but I thought I'd share my experiences as I went through the same thing. I used to be a fairly confident person, but that was shattered when I went to high school and realised I was gay, I became incredibly introverted and almost mute, even among my friends. Of course, there was a gradual change within the last few years at high school. I became more comfortable around my friends and the people at school, and just taking small steps helped a fair bit. Just contributing a few comments in conversations, I started talking to a few of the people I never spoke to at school. Really all it took was practice, and I hadn't been getting that over the years, the quietness just built this gulf between me and others, and I needed to force myself to speak more just to bridge the gulf. You need to put yourself out there to build your confidence. Try not to think the worst, you may think you can't hold a conversation or may get embarrassed when you stutter, most people don't notice and with some practice it will get easier. And as Allanah said smile, and be positive about yourself. If you can recognise the things you like about yourself, then it'll make it easier for others to see that
yes I do tend to speak fast :eusa_doh: Ill have a look into the social/speaking classes to see if any in my area thanks for advice.
You are 16 now, why don't you try to volunteer somewhere or find a job. I use to be very quite and shy but once I started to meet people outside of school I became more outgoing.
Have you tried Toastmasters? It's a public speaking club and their meetings takes place each week...all members participate at least once each time. You also give speeches at your leisure (but if you don't do them enough they'll start to encourage you too). They're all very welcoming, at least the one's I've been to
Lol Toastmasters? I love that name. But silliness aside, I used to have a stuttering problem too. I went to speech therapy and it was fixed. Have you tried speech therapy yet? If you stutter people will make fun of you, this I know from personal experience... And really, it's hard not to and it's definitely not something voluntary. Don't let anyone bring you down like that though.
it may just be nerves and you could be getting a small anxiety issue, i know that i do, i find it hard to talk to people i dont know as well and when it comes to talking to anyone its hard for me to come up with topics although i can talk on topics other people bring up. i would suggest talking to your guidance counselor and explaining things to them and maybe they could get you involved in something with the school so that you can be more comfortable.
