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Already came out to family

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Angel235, Jul 13, 2016.

  1. Angel235

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2016
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Riverside
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So I came out to my family when I was 14 and they didn't take me seriously. Which is to be expected because teens are never really sure about themselves. It's been 9 years and my mother still doesn't accept it and she told me straight up that "she doesn't have to accept it and neither does my brother or father." She is right in this, but it honestly hurts me. I confronted her about how I felt and there is no common ground with her really. So now I am not sure if I am a trans male or not (I know that this will take a while for me to decide and it is honestly in the back burner of my mind since I have a bunch of issues I need to solve.), but I have lately felt ashamed of myself. I can't change being bisexual and I feel guilty because my family has helped me A LOT in the past. They payed for my braces, didn't kick me out for stealing, payed for some of my schooling. I have been acting very bitter and distanced myself from them and feel that after I graduate from college that I should cut ties with them, yet they did a lot for me. It isn't just them not accepting me, but my family can be so judgmental towards me or others (friends I have had in the past). I love them, but they make it so hard for me to love them at times and they probably feel the same way towards me. I have no idea if I should just cut communication with them when I move out. I just don't want to be disappointed again if I try to get closer to them.
     
  2. Lone Dragon

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2015
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    Location:
    Disney
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I don't think you should cut ties with them. I think with all things you just may have to give them time. I mean they helped you so much in your life, so hopefully they will accept you for who you. It may not be easy for them for reasons I don't know, but your relationship with your family should be more than just your sexuality. You're more than just your sexuality and they should know that and be able to see that you're human and it's your life and not theres. Ultimately you have to do what is best for you, but I wouldn't let your family out of your life unless you really have to.

    I'm sorry you have to go through this.
     
  3. PerdHapley

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2016
    Messages:
    62
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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    No need to cut ties. It's just going to take a while for it to sink in properly for them. Your family clearly love you a lot and it would cause a lot of hurt on both sides if you walk away. It hurts more to be bitter than to try to work things out.