I guess I don't entirely understand how this coming out thing works, is it like changing the oil on a car? Do I have to restate the fact that I'm gay every 3,000 miles to make it real? I came out to my parents back in November and when I got home from college for Christmas we had a couple long conversations about my being gay. Mostly my parents questioned me on how sure I was. They don't really believe me I guess. I don't go home very often, but I'm on break for a little while and home again for the first time since Christmas and it seems like my coming out never even happened. My parents make jokes about me having a boyfriend they don't know about and having kids some day (not that its out of the question just because I'm gay), and even my sister who I thought would be better about this joined in. Maybe I should try to explain this whole gay thing to them again. I think they thought if they left the subject alone long enough it wouldn't be real. I really don't have the patience to come out again, the first time was hard enough. I guess I just feel that no one took me seriously the first time because I didn't have any "proof". Also the fact that no one seems to take me seriously just makes me question myself. I guess I need "proof" too. Sorry to rant, but I was just wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this sort of thing and how they went about it.
Of course, the following might not be the best plan. I think if I was in your situation and my parents talked about getting married to me again (after coming out), I would have to say "yes, but just remember, I am going to be marrying an Amy, not an Adam".
It shouldn't be as hard as the first time. You don't have to tell them you're gay all over, but say stuff to make them get that through their heads. If they talk about marriage, say something like "yep, when I find someone and gay marriage is finally legalized" or throw in gay references whenever you get the chance. Someone will probably tell you something you could twist around preety soon. I'm not out at all but I was so depressed and desperate one day, I had to feel like I was doing something real. I almost told my mother completely through hints ALONE. She never suspected because I'm not an obvious feminine gay guy. I got HER to ask me something about it preety quick. I denied, but yeah it's a different case. You've already come out and probably in a better place.
I think it's called "denial". Just be patient with thenm and try and remind them...gently... They'll get used to it eventually. In case you haven't seen it, please let me point you at this thread: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=930...I think it makes a lot of sense for most people - and it might help you understand a little better where their heads may be at.
I LOVE IT! That would get the point across. You've come out, you shouldn't have to do it again. Just give them a reminder!
Thanks for the advice everyone. I actually had a conversation with my grandmother yesterday in which she said she's convinced I'll find my "man" someday and that I'm not gay. She thinks I'll come home with a college professor 10yrs my senior, she said I don't like guys my age because they lack maturity and I need maturity. I said, well what about a female 10yrs my senior and she just shook her head. She said I'm not an emotional person so how would I deal with another female, to which I said maybe I'll find one like me. Not all females are emotional basketcases. Oh well, at least I tried. I still don't think anyone believes me, and so I continue to doubt myself. I told my grandmother I'd rather be single the rest of my life, so maybe thats what I'll do. I don't seem to be compatible with anyone. Anyways, thanks again to all who replied. I liked the "Amy, not Adam" quip.
Oh, and thanks TriBi for the link to that thread. I understand my parents may be in denial, I'll give them time. I think its going to take me having a girlfriend to convince anyone I'm gay. I should have waited to come out until I found someone, but I wanted to talk. Yeah that plan worked well.
