I have just recently come out. I feel like my emotions go haywire all the time. I hate not understanding how I feel. I hate that the first guy I liked since coming out is a jerk. I think he knows and now now is even more mean to me. I hate myself for feeling so helpless. I hate myself for feeling dirty about liking someone who is younger and immature. I go through extreme high and lows. This emotional roller coaster is making me really tired and having no one to talk to doesn't help since I don't have any gay friends.
I find being gay is a real emotional rollercoaster too. It is even more difficult when you dont have any gay friends, but remember, you can always talk to folk on EC who understand where you are coming from. And the guy you liked who is now mean to you isn't worth your energy, time or emotion - he needs to grow up. You have shown great maturity and integrity coming out. Take care and take it at your own pace.
Hi there! Welcome to EC! Congrats on coming out! Please know that you are not alone in having these feelings. You are dealing with a lot of things all at ones, and it is natural to feel overwhelmed and emotional at times. As you become more securer about yourself and start feeling more comfortable in your surroundings, the less you will experience emotional roller coaster rides. It can take a bit of time, but you will get there! Take it slow and follow whatever you feel comfortable with. (*hug*) What might help you is if you perhaps try joining a LGBT group in your school or in your community (if that is a possibility). Having someone to talk to and relate to can make a difference. Plus you will get to know a few new people, and have the chance of making new friends. A LGBT group can be an important part of your support network. There is nothing wrong with liking someone who is a bit younger than you are. It happens, and we can't really control it. Try not to beat yourself up about it. If he is mean to you, try to ignore him, try to make some new friends that will be there for you and support you. I hope this helps a bit!
I agree with Asteroid. Try to find a GLBT group near you and make friends! Many of us go through the same things or understand a lot....its sometimes like a large family.... Emotional rollercoasters are not just a part of being gay...but a part of being human. Straight people are not always calm or know how to handle life (look at reality tv or the news or the people around you). You cannot always help who you like or even love. but if he's acting like a jerk to you....look elsewhere! there's bound to be people that will be supportive and nice! (hugs) and feel free to send a message or wall text if you need help! we are here to help and support you!
Hi there and welcome to EC - from another gay guy that has 'been there, done that'. I had similar experiences when I first came out. First of all, the emotions seem really strong because, if you're like me, you've supressed lots of emotions up until now. You've had to suppress lust / like / love towards other guys. You've had to supress anger / frustration / resentment when people have made homophobic remarks. You've had to repress sadness / loneliness / regret for feeling alone and isolated. And now that you're coming to terms with your orientation, the flood gates have openned. It will get better with time. Secondly, I also fell really hard for a younger guy when I first came out to myself. He was the first guy that I had ever been able to talk to about how I was feeling, and I became VERY attached to him emotionally. But that wore off too. He wasn't a jerk, but he certainly wasn't right for me. I've since found someone that is PERFECTLY suited to me - and I've never been happier. So what you're going through is likely very normal. Just give it time. I think you'll find EC a really valuable resource as you come to terms with your orientation and get comfortable with it. It certainly helped me. Good luck, and again, welcome!
Jim said it all perfectly. It's easy to get sideswiped by the rush of emotions you feel regarding every aspect of coming out. And because of that, one tends to not focus to well on matters of the heart; it's like the brain is totally scrambled. I equated my experience to being "reborn", with all the senses overloaded at once. Remember, it DOES get better, and you appreciate the journey that much more because of it. We're all here to help and listen, so welcome!!!
you just need to step back and look at reality... this is one guy in your whole life thats treating you like this... in the future realize that not everyone will respond the way you want them to... and i agree try to find a group that is GLBT and make friends and go from there... it does get a lil easier, well at least for me it did.... good luck and just remember to roll with the punches and get back up if you fall down
Your certainly not alone in this - I'm finding it a total rollercoaster of emotion too - I've already posted elsewhere on that subject too - some days I'm content with who I am, other days I'm struggling emotionally... and agree with the poster who described it as "like your brain is scrambled" As others have said, it's supposed to get easier, for now, take care of yourself as the #1 priority - don't worry about looking for a relationship - you'll have enough to deal with emotionally, especially if you're older (I'm 35, and this has been a major struggle for me)
Hi! Congrats on coming out! As for what you are feeling i don't think you're as alone as you think.My friend Jacob just came out about a week ago(to me only), sure at first i was shocked but after a day i realized he needed someone to be there for him. Eventually there will be someone who realizes that you need someone to! As for the guy i agree with Peter76. Any guy who isn't muture enough to understand what you are going through and stand by you, doesn't deserve your friendship or anything more.
