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How to come out casually both a first and second time

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Meggiesoarasrex, Jul 19, 2016.

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  1. Meggiesoarasrex

    Meggiesoarasrex
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Vancouver
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I'm a lesban who went through a bi phase. I generally came out to my peers and friends at the time, as well as my sister, but since deciding I'm a lesbian, I'm finding it difficult. I want to scream it out from the room tops, but it's hard to casually bring it up to my parents, and even harder to bring it up casually to people who new me as bi. I know nobody will react badly, I just can't find out how to do it. I feel overly dramatic if I even bring it up casually in conversation, claiming myself to be a lesbian. And I fear people won't belive me that thought I was bi. It's a persistent fear that I'll bring it up in class and my ex bff whom I hate will be like no your bi and people will think I'm some attention whore using the wrong words to get attention since people take bi less seriously than lesbian
     
    #1 Meggiesoarasrex, Jul 19, 2016
  2. Calf

    Calf
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    UK, Leeds
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Have you considered why it is that you want or need to 'update your status'? You are right that others will have their own opinion on your sexuality, regardless of what you tell them so for now this should only really matter to you. If your worry is that people won't take you seriously and think that you are just attention seeking, then maybe re-coming out is only going to make that worse. Perhaps it would be better to just generally bring up in conversation with friends and family that you don't feel attracted to men at all anymore and aim to pursue only female relationships. Lead them towards their own conclusion that you are lesbian rather than just telling them.

    I don't aim to question your orientation but imagine there is a possibility that you find yourself again even slightly attracted to men in the future. Having to do the whole thing again back to bisexual would make things even harder.

    In truth, the only people that the finer detail of your sexuality matter to are you and any potential partner. For now, just enjoy discovering who you are and let everyone else work it out for themselves.
     
    #2 Calf, Jul 19, 2016
  3. MadstheGay

    MadstheGay
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    SA, Australia
    I was in a similar situation until one day I didn't think about it too much and left a note for my brother in the fridge when I left for school (cause I knew he would look there when he woke up). The second time I came out was to my my friend when I asked to borrow her ruler and I just said quietly "if only it could make me straight" and that was that.

    I guess just find little bits in conversation to slot it in. It'll feel right when you do it.
     
    #3 MadstheGay, Feb 13, 2017
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