Okay, so tomorrow will be the eleventh anniversary of the day the Canadian bill to legalize gay marriage received royal assent and became a law ridethe bill passed today in 2005 but didn't receive royal assent until the next day so it wasn't technically a law yet) and I'm planning to come out to my mom (for some reason I needed there to be a special gay event to push myself out of the closet despite the fact that I have no reason not to come out to her). I say not of extreme urgency because I'm pretty sure she will be okay with my being a lesbian and I don't want to take focus off of and potential support from other people in this forum who are trying to come out in more difficult situations. However I'm still very nervous and I'm not quite sure how to go about coming out. I've only ever come out to two people. With my sister it was mostly me asking her questions while I was still confused to see if I was actually gay (apparently straight girls do find many male celebrities more attractive than female celebrities) - then admitting to her I probably wasn't straight. But by the time I told my dad I was sure I was gay - and I also thought he would be okay with it. I went with the direct route but I had a really hard time actually spitting it out that I was gay, and even then I still ran to my room and faceplanted into my bed with my heart beating faster than the drums in a rock song. I don't think I have much of a reason to be nervous and yet somehow I still am. Does anyone have any ways to prepare themselves before coming out so they actually sound confident or tips to help mentally prepare (so I don't freak out while coming out)? And while I'm here, I'm also planning on coming out to a close friend of mine as soon as I have an excuse to randomly invite her over without parents or other friends involved. We are really close friends and I think she is probably the friend with whom I am the most open with. But I still don't like getting emotional or feeling vulnerable. Do you think she'll think I have a crush on her (it probably won't help that I told her I loved her in elementary school - as a friend, but still)? Will she think of me differently? I don't want our relationship to change. How do I come out without making it awkward? Also I'm not so sure her parents are totally accepting of the LGBT community so I'm a little worried about that... Sorry this is so long - I'm really bad at condensing!
Hi,my only bit of advice would be to keep it as simple and to the point as possible,be confident and don't make it out to be a big deal. I always think that if you don't make it into a big deal then neither will the person you are telling. Good luck
I'm not of much help, when I came out I struggled all night then finally screamed, IM REALLY GAY GUYS, and ran to my room and lived there for a couple days but after a while it was just a little bump in the past
:lol: That kind of sounds like something I had envisioined in my mind. I was like - why can't I just wear a rainbow flag as a cape and run around the house yelling GAY!!! That whole bit about "I struggled all night" sounds like me. I was going to come out tonight so I went and sat on the couch next to my mom on and off for like thirty minutes trying to collect myself (also waiting for a commercial break because she was watching something) and then my mom just got up and went to bed... Well I guess I'll be putting it off a bit more now... I need to stop doing that because I really have no reason to. I mean she was really nonchalant with buying guys shirts and boxers for me so I'm pretty sure she'll be fine with this too (plus she likes Ellen and the fosters tv show so...)
Try to think about some of the questions your mom will ask in advance and get the answers straight in your mind. For example; How can you be sure? How long have known for? What made you realise? If you anticipate the questions and answer confidently, without lots of emotion, it will help to persuade your mom that you have really thought about it and that it's not a passing phase. Try to anticipate some questions that may seem (to you and I) rather silly and be just as calm with your answers to them. Remember, your mom probably knows very little about LGBT issues and you are telling her all of this with no prior warning. The most important thing is your attitude. Staying calm is important because it helps to persuade people that you are happy and content with your sexuality. If you get upset or really stressed out, it will have the opposite effect. Final tip, pick your moment well. Don't blurt it out when your mom is getting ready for work or when she is really tired or under pressure. Pick a time when you and she will be able to talk calmly about it, if necessary. Good luck!
