Hey guys, Nicky here. So I know this might be heavy for a first post, but what I'm about to share has been eating me up inside for months now, and I heard that this forum was full of people who could offer advice on coming out. Please just hear my story. If you don't have any advice to give, that's okay, know that I'm grateful that you at least listened to my story. Okay, so at this point in my life I'm very insecure and anxious, but the one thing I know I'm 100% confident in is my sexuality. There's not a doubt in my mind that I'm not gay. In a way, I've always known that I had feelings for other boys that I didn't have for girls, but I've only fully accepted it recently. Coming out for me has certainly not been as difficult as it is for some people, and in no way am I complaining about my life. My friends know and they don't mind, and I'm pretty sure a few of my teachers know as well. I don't really keep it a secret...except when my family, particularly my parents, comes into the picture. I've tried coming out to them before, but after seeing their disappointment, I ended up "chickening out" and just told them I was confused. It's not that my parents hate gay people, they're actually fairly liberal on the subject, such as the fact that they support gay marriage, etc. But I think maybe the thought of me being gay is a bit much for them, especially since I'm their only son. I also know that they will worry about me even more. My parents don't understand that I can handle bullies, and even then I have great friends who would always have my back. I just don't want to hide it from them anymore, as I have a really good relationship with my parents. But whenever I think about telling them, I simply fall apart. If anyone can give me any advice or at least some support, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you (*hug*)
Hi Nicky, well done for coming out to your friends. About your parents maybe try bringing it up casually as if they see that you don't find it a big deal they won't either. Whereas if you have a big serious conversation it might worry them for no reason. But again you know your parents best. Good luck
The fact that you already told your parents once and then retreated will have put the idea firmly in their minds anyway. Telling them again will only confirm what they now suspect Nicky. If coming out feels like an ordeal, it's best to get straight to the point. The previous poster is right, if you sit your parents down for a deep conversation and then begin a long preamble you are just building it up with every moment that passes. It's so unnecessary because the only words they need to hear are, "I am gay". If you make it seem like a big issue they are more likely to treat it as a big issue. Trust me, your parents will not have forgotten about your previous attempt to come out and I'm sure they will have discussed it between themselves already. They will be prepared for this. Will they be disappointed? Yes, maybe a little bit, but they sound like good people who will deal with it in a fair and reasonable way Nicky. That's a lot to be grateful for. Coming out well requires a bit of preparation. Your parents may ask questions to see how you feel about being gay and if you can answer them clearly and with confidence it will go a long way towards convincing them that you are not confused or going through a phase. If you think you will get upset it might be worth considering coming out by letter. Take a look at these examples and see if it might work for you: Empty Closets - Coming Out Letters Good luck with it. Remember that we are here for you and would like to know how it goes.
