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Coming out to my parents - advice needed..!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by AJDarbz, Jul 21, 2016.

  1. AJDarbz

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2016
    Messages:
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    Location:
    United Kingdom - South West
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So, I'm 23 year old female and since the age of about 13/14, I have known that I am attracted to women as well as men. It took me a while to realise that it was an ok thing, and I wasn't doing anything wrong in my being attracted to someone of the same sex.

    I came out to my best friend in complete confidence as bisexual at the age of 17. As (hopefully) most best friends would, she told me that she knew already and didn't care what I was or who I was attracted to, that she'd always love me. This gave me a little confidence, but I still wasn't ready to open up to my parents...

    More recently, as I've got older, I've found myself pushing my attraction to women away, not allowing myself to talk to someone of the same sex that I'm attracted to, because I was constantly worrying that my parents would find out. My Mother and Father are very, how to put it, "old-fashioned". My Dad (whom is my best friend and I love dearly) makes homophobic jokes, which doesn't exactly fill me with confidence. My Mum kicked me out when I got my nose pierced a few years back, and doesn't like anything "modern". She often jokes that I don't bring men home, and that she can't wait to meet the man I'm going to marry and give her Grandchildren with.

    I'm fed up of pushing who I am down and not being truly myself around the people I love and care about, but I just can't seem to find the strength to tell them. I don't even know what to say, I've tried before but couldn't find the words. I'm so so scared that they will be disgusted or push me away. I know they are my parents and should love me no matter what, but I just cannot stop being absolutely terrified to tell them. I know I need to open up and be myself, because I can't keep hiding this. All of my friends know, and they all support me a million percent..

    Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I really need some advice..

    Thanks for taking the time to read this!
     
  2. YesHomo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2015
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    Location:
    Maryland
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Tell them. They might take it bad but I say it's better to live your life knowing they don't like it than to live in fear. But this depends if you live with your parents. If you live on your own or have a safe place to stay I would say go for it. If you could be in danger, maybe wait.
     
  3. HuskyLover

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2016
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    Location:
    Scandinavia
    As stated above, if you live alone and if you aren't very dependent of your parents, you should tell them. However, once you've told them, give them plenty of time to let it sink in. Don't ask them too many questions or try to make it more complicated than it has to be. If they ask about grandchildren, or even if they don't, tell them that there is still a chance for them to get grandchildren (you didnt say you were lesbian after all).

    Otherwise, it's probably better to wait until you don't depend on them, when you have your own place and so on, so they can't throw you out.