Hello everyone, I am new to this site and this is actually the first time I have asked for advice on the subject of coming out late in life. I'll try not to make this a long introduction. I grew up in the 80's-early 90's. I was always a tomboy... I loved mud and sports, shorts and tshirts. When I hit puberty, well, I spent more time fantasizing about women than I did men, but soon I was thinking of men as well. I think the reason I have made it this far without searching for woman is that I enjoyed heterosexual sex. I mean, if I enjoy having sex with a man, I cant be gay, right? Yet 20 years later, at the age of 40, I have never married and have been through failed relationship after failed relationship. The sex worked, but nothing else did. Men simply do not fulfill my emotional needs, and I do not fulfill theirs. We make great friends, but horrible relationship partners. In the meantime, attraction to women had been sporadic in my life. The only accurate way to describe it is as if a switch is periodically turned on and after a brief period, flips back to the "off" position. Several months ago, this switch turned on and has yet to turn off.... I was once a volunteer firefighter and a fire is the best way to describe it. You see, a fire needs three things to burn; heat, fuel, and oxygen. Some of you will remember the movie "Backdraft". It was named after the phenomena that occurred when an environment rich in fuel and heat,yet starved of oxygen, is then introduced to oxygen. Boom. But that is how it feels. I am not trying to be over-dramatic, but the stress of this situation has been a major disruption in my life for the last several months. I am afraid to come out at 40. I wonder "is this just a phase? Shouldnt I just wait it out?", yet I feel so strongly that I can only find happiness with a woman. Any advice and insight would be much appreciated. God bless and namaste.
I have not. I want to. I'm just not sure how to begin. I've considered joining a dating site. I just wonder how many women would actually want to date a woman that's so unsure...Though I have gotten a lot of reassurance on another thread from people who also came out later in life. I know I just need to jump in, but I feel like a fish out of water. I've never asked a woman out.
