Help i told but

i posted on your other post but thought i'd copy and paste it here too:

i have never thought about this situation before , or been married, or close to marriage, but heres what i think

it is going to be a conversation perhaps that flares her anger or upset again. but this anger is most likely caused by here fears, she might feel like she is inadequate. and to feel that for someone you love, would of course wound. you might have to reassure her of your feelings for loving her if they are true. she might be even aware of her feelings and therefore has said she is ok because she knows they are her fears projected/not your fault. but she might be craving your reassurance. she might also be incredibly scared of what else you have to say.

i think it is a conversation that needs to be had otherwise it will come back up, in your arguments ect. in the future, because it is unresolved and perhaps viewed as a vulnerability in your relationship.

she may also feel that you will leave her to experiement, reassure her of the truth (if the truth is reassuring). she may even feel like you have been keeping secrets, explain how you are learning about yourself and reassure her. she may be fearful of how it could change your relationship - if at all.

give her leeway in her reactions, you've had a lot of time to figure this out internally, to her this is fresh and initially unprocessed. often we get angry because we are unprepared and have no thought path made before so we respond with emotion. so some time for her to contemplate is good.

if she gets angry, diffuse, don;t respond with anger, keep honest but dont match any anger (that's when it escalates) , even be as aware of your body language, sit side on rather than across from her (less hostile ecT).


if the conversation is not being had, write it down in a letter, make it a shit sandwich ; write good stuff (i.e. why you love her) , write the difficult stuff and your feelings, write more good stuff again (how you love her , what you hope for the future ect.) and then ask her in the letter if you can talk about it more and why you want to talk about it?

have the conversation. pick an appropriate time to have it.

ultimately if she cannot accept your bisexuality after time and compassion and reassurance of your love, then she cannot accept a part of you. and

but i am sure if you share love then you will get through this and have a deeper and more connected relationship for it.

please be advised i am no expert, not at all, i know nothing, but i do wish you all the best

 

I would suggest a gentle push, just say something like "when your ready we need to talk about it"
I'm assuming this is new to you as well, also your wanting to explore this side of yourself, ? If your need to explore is even close to my own, you need to talk about it with her, for me cheating wasn't an option, and denying any longer was no good either, only option was to talk, still working on what our next steps are but at least it's out in the open and we're talking about it.

 

Just be as honest as possible. That's what helped me with coming out to my husband. He knew any way but I told him I love him and I also like women but its nothing he did wrong or anything.. The story continued but I will leave it at that. Remind her that you love her. She needs that.