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relationship advice?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by torrentluver, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. torrentluver

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    so ive been with this guy since january ans weve been official for about a month now. but lately we see eachother like once a week, mainly cuz our work schedules are in the way. but he never asks me to hang out, i have to ask him. and hed rather sleep most of the time. and now lately he only texts me back like 25% of the time. its not like hes a bad person at all, i just want to spend time with and get attention from the one that im in a relationshit with Haha. also he doesnt like being affectionate like kissing or holding hands, and he pretty much hates sex. i have to bug him for an hour before we do. what should i do?
     
  2. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    Hi there! :slight_smile:

    Wow. At first I thought you were a girl, but a guy with low sex drive? Hmmm. That could be a problem! Have you tried seducing him, foreplay, or things to get him in the mood before hand? You shouldn't have to bug him that long for sex...Maybe it sounds like hes not interested? Has he always been that way? Public affection is one thing but maybe he's losing interest due to work schedules because he might think you won't be there?

    Thats my guess. Is he depressed or on any anti-depresses?
    That could account for low sex drive...

    Again, just speculating, it could be something else entirely.
     
  3. Alex19

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    yea, there could be reasons for why hes acting like that. but he doesnt even show affection when your alone? thats odd...
     
  4. Louise

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    Well without wanting to sound mean, it doesn't seem that this guy is very into you. Your best bet would be to finish with him and find yourself a real b/f who does want to hang out with you and does enjoy kissing and cuddlng and sex. Sex is not the most important part of a relationship for sure but it does have its importance. I can't see a long term relationship where you have to beg for sex and he can't even be bothered to answer your texts!!!

    From what you say it sounds like you are wasting your time on this guy.
     
  5. torrentluver

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    ive considered dumping him several times, but the thing is that guys have only seen me as a piece of ass for the night and thats all im good for. im tired of hearing " youre hot, wanna spend the night". hes told me that sex isnt what a relationship is about and thats why he doesnt want it much, and he says im just young and horny, but hes in his early twenties and he should not have a sex drive that low in his freakin twenties.
    ive tried to seduce and tease and get him horny, but he just gets mad and says no then gets all pissy. i dont think he understands that i dont get mad just cuz i dont get sex, i get sad cuz it makes me think im ugly and he doesnt want me or something.
     
  6. L|L

    L|L
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    Sorry, sweetie, but he's just not into you. Plain and simple. I'd cut my losses and move on.

    To be honest, does one really want to have to think of ways to entice a partner, or garner his attention so soon in a relationship? I do not.

    When I'm into someone, I want to see him all the time, miss work to hang-out, kiss him, touch him, etc. I would think this is the norm.
     
    #6 L|L, Mar 13, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2009
  7. torrentluver

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    and i dont want ya to think hes a bad person cuz hes not at all, hes a good guy. but i just dunno what to do. am i askin to much or being to clingy? i just like to be affectionate and show my feelings for the person, but without those feelings being returned to me i get confused. i over analyse things and then dont know if its me or what. but the fact that im really self conscious and probably have some sort of depression doesnt help either (runs in the family along with alcohol abuse, both of which i show strong signs of but havent bothered to be diagnosed by a professional).
    i dont wanna sound winey, just be blunt and tell me if its me or him or both? or what should i do? im afraid the answer is to split, but should i try to work it out?