Hey EC, it's me, Irrelevant Boy. I've been thinking about myself and how far I've come to accept my queerness (if that is a word) over the years. I remember as a child, I would make sure that I was never caught staring at the occasional hot guy, pretending I liked girls, etc. I have come to a point where I barely talk to my parents about my personal life (I am a teenager, btw) because they must won't understand. Yes, I am still closeted and I don't feel safe enough to come out yet. However, around my friends it's different. Especially last school year, I found myself hinting to my sexuality in front of people at my high school. I feel as if I should declare to these people that I am gay and proud. The problem is my family. They are the ones I am most afraid of. My dad was born poor and raised in Ireland and I keep getting this idea that he is homophobic. He often jokes about gay people. As for my mom, she constantly talks about me asking a girl to prom or even getting a wife some day. I think they've seen the signs but they just ignore them (I used to play with barbies and dress up in my sister's clothes for God's sake). So I have multiple questions that I need help with. For one, should I come out to the people at my school or is that too risky? And is living two different lives healthy for me if I do? Lastly, do you have any advice to help me get through this mess? Thank you.
I'm not out yet but I think it would probably be best to come out to a few close friends who you know will accept you, then your family (if you know they won't kick you out) and then your whole school. Living two lives is scary and the secrecy will eat you alive. Plus you'll risk being outed to your parents which would be harder than telling them yourself.
It's a scary thing, coming out, try to take is slow, choose someone who you know will be accepting, and keep quiet, then another person, and another, it gets easier. On your parents as I've said with many younger people, if you have a genuine fear that they may reject you and possibly kick you out... Then wait, wait until to know you can support youself. By the sounds of it though, yours won't go to that extreme, you can always ask them what they think of a "friend" of yours that came out to you, and gauge there reaction, see what they say about "him" and how they feel about it. Take is slow, your young, you have plenty of time to figure yourself out, be prepared for the worst, hope for the best. Keep us updated (&&&)
Thanks for the advice. I have decided that I will wait until I am financially and emotionally stable to come out to my family. As for friends, I'll keep my sexuality on the down-low until I trust someone enough with it. Thanks.
