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confession

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lioness324, Mar 15, 2009.

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  1. lioness324

    lioness324
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    I know there must be a million threads like this one, but I just need to get it all out. (May ramble a bit)
    I don't know how long this has been going on, but for the past couple of months I have ben realizing: I don't think I'm straight. I have had some same-sex attractions since I was pretty young (probably around 8 or so) including a pretty big crush on my then-best friend. I never thought "well, maybe I'm gay" though, I think probably because I knew I also liked guys, (I didn't know bisexuality existed then) and because I just thought, "well, it might happen to other people, but it couldn't happen to me". I tried to put it out of my mind. Eventually my family moved far away enough that I could no longer see my crush regularly.
    However, in the past couple of months, all this has started to resurface. My mom came out in January, which sort of started me thinking about this issue again, but by then, I had nearly forgotten. Then, my mom got an email from my old crushes mother, (because of her coming out) and revealed that the girl I had liked all those years ago, was also bi. I began thinking about it again, and now the more I think about it, the more I think I must be bi.
    I have not told anyone about this. Should I tell anyone, or should I wait till I am completely certain?

    Thanks. It felt good to get it all out. :icon_redf
     
    #1 lioness324, Mar 15, 2009
  2. Kirakishou

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    I'd say consult your mother, but tell her you're not entirely sure.
     
    #2 Kirakishou, Mar 15, 2009
  3. Maddy

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    Welcome to EC!
    How do you think your mother would react if you were to tell her that you're not sure about your sexuality, but you're pretty sure you're not straight? In a lot of situations I find it's best to not come out until you're a bit more certain, but if your mother is queer herself, she'd hopefully be a bit more understanding of the whole situation.
     
    #3 Maddy, Mar 15, 2009
  4. The Enigma

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    If you feel ready to say something to your mother then go for it. But if your mother is queer you'll definitely be able to find some common ground and at least acceptability. Don't feel rushed to find your 'proper' sexuality either. Feel free to express yourself however you choose to. If you want penis one day and vagina another, hey, all the more power to you. Versatility is a great thing. But knowing that you could've had a relationship with that bi friend of yours is more than aggravating, I know! I've had that happened to me once when I moved and I found out something along the same lines and I was like...well SHIT! I never got my chance!!
     
    #4 The Enigma, Mar 15, 2009
  5. lioness324

    lioness324
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    I KNOW!! I half feel like giving her a call...but no, an LDR would suck.
    I think she would be ok with my being confused, but it is still kinda hard to just tell her. I've never really been the type of person to just blurt out what I'm feeling, usually I try to solve something myself, but maybe that won't work this time.
    I'm not even gonna look at what I wrote last night, it's probably not coherent at all, (it was 2 where I live) but thanks for taking the time. (*hug*)
     
    #5 lioness324, Mar 15, 2009
  6. BlakeHarmony

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    Well, first off, welcome to EC!
    I spent probably six months doing basically what you are doing after a friend of mine told me she had a crush on another girl. The only difference being that I've never liked guys.
    In your exact situation, I would try and figure it out a bit more and then talk to your mom and whoever else. I don't really like to share everything but if your mom just came out, she would be a great resource for you, take advantage out that. She can help you figure some stuff out, and be a great pillar for you when you come out to other people...
    Good luck!
     
    #6 BlakeHarmony, Mar 15, 2009
  7. lioness324

    lioness324
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    She's actually coming over today, (My mom) and I don't know what to do...every time I see her lately, she is always like, "Hey hon, what's wrong?" and I keep saying "Nothing" and it's bugging me that I don't have the guts to tell her yet, but if I think about telling her...I don't know, I just freeze up.
     
    #7 lioness324, Mar 15, 2009
  8. BlakeHarmony

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    It sounds like that would be a great opportunity for you to take advantage of, if you are comfortable and ready... There is a fairly good chance your mom knows already anyways, what ever you chose to do, good luck, I'll be rooting for you!
     
    #8 BlakeHarmony, Mar 15, 2009
  9. lioness324

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    Thanks everyone. (*hug*) Maybe not today but I will talk to her soon. I might have thought about today but my brother and dad will be around and I'd rather just tell her for now. Maybe sometime this week I can go to her house. (She only lives like 20 min. away by public transit)
     
    #9 lioness324, Mar 15, 2009
  10. lioness324

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    Mmkay, I might be going over to her house on Wednesday by myself, so I can talk to her then. *Wills self to not chicken out*
     
    #10 lioness324, Mar 16, 2009
  11. silverhalo

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    welcome to EC

    Good luck for wednesday we know you can do it, let us know how you get on :thumbsup:
     
    #11 silverhalo, Mar 16, 2009
  12. Alannah26

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    Welcome to EC! Good luck!
     
    #12 Alannah26, Mar 17, 2009
  13. The Enigma

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    You can always do what I did. I had trouble saying it to...so I just blurted it for shits and giggles.

    I walked by her and said:

    "Im gay."

    Like it was already common knowledge. And since the cat was already in the bag there was no going back. It forced me to deal with it. I've been very happy with my choice of coming out.
     
    #13 The Enigma, Mar 17, 2009
  14. lioness324

    lioness324
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    Somehow, the idea of doing that scares me even more.
    Anyway, the date is set. I am going to her house tomorrow after school.
     
    #14 lioness324, Mar 17, 2009
  15. Mirko

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    Hi and welcome to EC! :slight_smile:

    If you feel comfortable in coming out to her, give it a try tomorrow. However, and always remember, if you are not able to say anything to her, that's totally okay.

    Good luck! Let us know how it goes.
     
    #15 Mirko, Mar 17, 2009
  16. lioness324

    lioness324
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    Oh jeez, don't say that. If I'm not hard on myself, I will never be able to come out. :icon_redf
     
    #16 lioness324, Mar 17, 2009
  17. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Sure you will be able to come out. I know you can do it! :slight_smile:

    Sorry, I didn't mean to discourage you, I just don't want you to be too disappointed or feeling down should it not happen. I'm hoping that you do can find the courage to come out to her tomorrow. She seems to be a really good person to come out to.

    Do you know what you want to say? If not, think a bit about it. Once you have it, then just go in, take a deep breath and take it from there. Keep telling to yourself that it will be okay. If you want, you could write a letter and give it to her and stay beside her while she is reading it.
     
    #17 Mirko, Mar 18, 2009
  18. Just Adam

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    you can do it just take it at your pace but your mum should be very understanding and helpfull take care and good luck x
     
    #18 Just Adam, Mar 18, 2009
  19. lioness324

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    That's ok. :wink:
    I sorta know what I'm going to say. I was goint over in my head this morning before anyone else woke up. (I didn't sleep too well, you can imagine)
     
    #19 lioness324, Mar 18, 2009
  20. lioness324

    lioness324
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    Well, doesn't look like I'll be able to talk to her today. :frowning2: No, I did not chicken out, schedules got f***ed up. I thought I would be able to go to her house by myself but now it turns out my brother is coming too. Though I think he might know...we had a conversation last night that made me think maybe...even so, I don't want to talk to her with him there. *Sigh*
     
    #20 lioness324, Mar 18, 2009
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