I came out to my mom :(

Take your time.

Coming out sometimes feels like a gaping wound on your chest so take some time to let it heal.

Other than that while you wrote you don't believe being bi is a sin, also saying you cried while talking with your mother saying you don't want to go to hell.

Religious beliefs are a bit iffy... no matter which religion you follow, most of the time you act on what other people say, what's other people "ideal" look and life style. So I believe only God will decide how we will be judge and that will be based on how good humans we are not how good <insert religion here>. Believing only one dogma sent more than half of the world population to hell, no matter if they are LGBT or not.

I think you should focus on your inner self. Make peace that you are bi... If you don't love yourself no one will. Others will try but self hate is a strong feeling that sucks nearly every positive thing in your life.

 

Well done for coming out! That must have taken so much courage. You were honest about your feelings, and that is something to be proud of, even if you don't feel that just now.

If you wanted to read anything about being Christian and LGBT, you could google 'chrstian gays anita cadonau-huseby'. Anita Cadonau-Huseby is a minister who happens to be gay, and she's written some beautiful, life-affirming stuff on what it means to be Christian and LGBT. I found her writing so comforting (I don't know her at all, just making it clear, I am fairly new so am not sure if I can post links!).

 

It doesn't sound like your mom was angry. Maybe you didn't include it, but she seemed to take it pretty okay. And that's awesome! Try not to focus on the things you're worried about constantly, because there's obviously good things happening as well.

I can't help too much when it comes to the religion/LGBT thing. I'm no longer religious myself. But I do know plenty of churches that are very LGBT supportive. There are also a lot of resources on the internet for people struggling with the two. From what I've read and understand (and please, do correct me if I'm wrong), being LGBT is technically not really a sin. Why? Because it's only mentioned in the Old Testament. Then Jesus came and died for everyone's sins, in order to start anew. He didn't mention LGBT at all. His messages were the exact opposite of the Old Testament (Old said "An eye for an eye", Jesus said "Turn the other cheek", etc.). Surely, as a Christian, the Son of God's words come first.

For now, just breathe. Do some things that make you happy, watch a fun movie, listen to great music, whatever you need. Know that you are loved, and that you've taken a big and brave step. Feel better! (*hug*)

 

Religion is a crock of schpit designed to control behavior; they want exclusively breeders to bulk up their numbers, that's it. Sorry but it's true. Now for yourself, I know how difficult it is but be true to yourself.

 

I kinda see myself in your post. Not that I came out to my mom but I lived similar things for years. It is a endless cycle of being okay with yourself and feeling guilty about it.

There was a time I declared God evil as he created me/us this way than call us abomination... failure. How can I fail on something I have no control over? He is the blame right? If you put salt in your dough you can't expect your cookies to be sweet.

Then decided it is humans who were at fault. There isn't such a thing as equality in God's book... we all born with our good and bad sides. There are many babies born without any sense of sight, some born with mental illnesses and some with physical ones. Doesn't that mean we, as humans should overcome these obstacles and bring justice to our lives.

Everyone of us in this life try to find some happiness. So shouldering others burdens instead of hindering them should be the most humane thing to do. This is where choices enter the scene. You can either focus on a persons "wrongness" which they have no power over it or focus on injustice/cruelty aimed to them because it is wrong.

You can't help being a bisexual but you can help the choices you will make in life. Being truthful to person in your life, making sure other side know what is your intent in your relationship. No matter if that is a fling, a one night stand or life long commitment.

I know it looks like I throw many things into one post but that is how my mind works, how I see things in life. Many dots that make sense when come together.

(*hug*)

 

I also am Christian and that's what I really struggled with when I came out to myself. I recommend Matthew Vines. He is Gay and deferred his studies to study on homosexuality and the bible. He has a book and a few videos on YouTube. He really brakes down on why the LGBT community is accepted by God and that many of the verses denouncing homosexuals and those alike are actually misconstrued and out of context.
It gets easier trust me. Once you accept yourself, 9 times out of 10. Peoples opinions suddenly don't seem to matter as much.

 

Being bisexual doesn't mean you will go to hell.

 

Hi Ty,

Is there any chance you could find your own church? In my town there is at least on church that is "open and affirming" and that hosts LGBT support meetings (e.g., PFLAG, etc.). I suggest this, because you wrote that you would like your belief to have some relevance to your own life and the problems you encounter.

I'm not a religious scholar, so I'm encroaching on a subject I'm not all that qualified to debate, but doesn't what your parents teach, that "being LGBT is a sin," also apply to them? What I mean is, according to Christian doctrine, everyone is a sinner. Therefore, "being jealous of your neighbors" is a sin, coveting the brother-in-law's new car is a sin, harboring resentment against people is a sin, etc. In other words, we are all less than ideal, in the eyes of God.

So a lot of people, when they get the hate on for LGBT people, reach right for Leviticus and conveniently forget all the rest. In other words, they forget that a New Testament even exists.

I feel you're going to have a lot of difficulty with your mother on this topic, for quite awhile. This is why I think it is important to find some affirming voices outside of your relationship with her.

 

Faustian1, the difference is. The idea with sin is that you repent. Accepting your sexuality that isn't straight is doing the opposite in many Christian's eyes. You repent for converting or lying or whatever. But nobody wants to repent for being themselves and that is where the issue is. But I do see where you are coming from.

 

Being LGBT isn't something you choose so it would just be unfair to go to hell for something you didn't even want. But, hey, don't take my word on this stuff, I'm a hardcore atheist.