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Looking for help

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Guff, Aug 4, 2016.

?

Is coming out worth it when you know it'll probably emotionally be hurtful?

  1. Yes

    4 vote(s)
    57.1%
  2. No

    3 vote(s)
    42.9%
  1. Guff

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    Up to now I've been incredibly secret about being gay, in fact I'm strangely proud of myself for keeping the lie up so well all these years (,:
    But I'm going to be 17 soon enough with less than 2 years until I'm 18. I swore to myself by the time I'm 18 I'd AT LEAST be out to 1 person... So I'm thinking about telling my homophobic brother, He's not a LGBT supporter but he's my best friend. Any and all advice wanted and appreciated. <3
     
  2. Ram90

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    It all depends on how much you think the person you want to come out to matters. It does help if you come out to a supportive person first, since it'll boost your morale and make you happier. But since you say your brother is your best friend, if you feel the need to come out to him first, I'd say put the hurt aside and come out to him.
     
  3. Guff

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    I live in a very conservative area and my conservative parents homeschool me and only allow me to socialize with other conservative homeschoolers. I have no "support" options, but given the 2 of us are extremely ridiculously close I think maybe love might cancel out some hate. And being brothers I got some his secrets LOL Which means he can't tell my parents without equally insured damage :wink:
     
  4. BMC77

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    I think it might be better to wait before coming out. I think it's much better to start with people who are likely to be accepting, and if your brother is homophobic, he is almost guaranteed to have trouble learning you're gay.

    I also wouldn't put a lot of trust in the thought that you have some of secrets. Among conservatives, being gay is often such a bad thing that it could easily trump anything else. You might easily be put into the position where he A) informs your parents that you're gay, B) you tell three big, dark secrets of your brother, and C) your parents decide they don't care about those secrets, and you find yourself kicked out onto the street.

    As far as limited support, well, that's why EC exists... In fact, EC was my only support when I first joined, and I live in an area that is mostly LGBT tolerant.