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How Do You Talk To Someone Who Doesn't Even Know What Bisexual Means?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by GayPugs, Aug 5, 2016.

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  1. GayPugs

    GayPugs
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    Ok, so, ever since I came out as lesbian and came out to my mom and brother as Genderfluid, I've been educating my family on LGBTQIA+ labels. And, of course, the most popular: Gay/Lesbian, Biseuxal, and Transgender. My brother gives no sh*ts, my mom loves learning about all the different labels despite still thinking that I shouldn't use them for myself, and my dad...he doesn't retain any information, I'm not even sure if he's listening. I love my dad and I'm not saying he's dumb but...he's a little slow sometimes. I really want to be able to fully express myself and I know I won't be able to do that while he's still calling me his "little girl" all the time. I just need some tips on coming out to him. I don't even know what to say...and what will he say? He was raised in a mega-religious, sexist, racist, and probably homophobic/transphobic (I decided against coming out to them long ago) household.
     
    #1 GayPugs, Aug 5, 2016
  2. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    Educating him as to the labels - or maybe just the general idea or the logic - is a good start. If you are able to give him all the information, likely with help from your mom, then he is in possession of all the facts and can make his mind up. Ultimately, you can't make him accept you - he'll have to make that journey himself and choose to do so.

    But as with any kind of learning curve, you'll have to take it slow and understand that he won't necessarily understand or come to terms with the real you right away.

    I'll reply to you here or we can chat on our walls if you have any questions or comments. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Connorcode, Aug 5, 2016
  3. GayPugs

    GayPugs
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    I suppose he doesn't exactly need to know all the labels, more just the ones that apply to me...he doesn't know any other LGBTQIA+ people so I doubt knowing all the other labels would actually do him any good. I can't make him accept me and I do have fear that he won't but when I really think about it...my dad is the type of guy who would probably just be like, "Ok! Wanna go play some video games?" And never speak of the matter again. Which wouldn't actually bother me...I would just like if I could find a time alone to tell him. I think it's the kind of thing that I'd need to tell him alone...I love my dad, especially because he ignores this type of stuff. I can speak to him about not calling me a girl but I think he'll just ignore all of it and, to be honest, I guess that's ok...
     
    #3 GayPugs, Aug 6, 2016
  4. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    I get that.

    All my family have been a bit like that. "Okay, you're gay. [Random comment]". It infuriates me actually - I'd rather they ask questions and talk to me about it, but they either don't care or don't know how to navigate such a conversation.
     
    #4 Connorcode, Aug 6, 2016
  5. GayPugs

    GayPugs
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    Well, my mom asks questions but they're always really hard to answer like, "So when you're a boy what does it feel like?" and "Do you ever feel uncomfortable about yourself?" and of course my brother doesn't really care. Nor does he remember 3 months ago when he said this was all a phase and "trend" and I was only doing it because it's "trendy." Having my dad not care is almost a relief...I just wish he could make his family understand that I'm NOT a girl. They're very sexist so they always put a spotlight on me being born a girl and I REALLY hate it.
     
    #5 GayPugs, Aug 6, 2016
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