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Do I come out to my crush?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by cathyb, Aug 5, 2016.

  1. cathyb

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Connecticut
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I fell in love for the first time with a girl on my team this past year. She is (presumably) straight, and no one on my team knows I am bi. This past week we went to a meet, and she started to hint that she was gay and was hitting on me. It was probably just wishful thinking, because when we went to lunch the other day she was cold. She leaves for college in a week, and I really feel like I should get this off my chest. I have to mention that she is super conservative and makes fun of gay people a lot, but that could be her covering up her true feelings. I dont know what to do but I need to figure it out before she leaves.
     
  2. Gravity

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    As far as being conservative or otherwise making fun of gay people, I feel like I should relate a bit of advice from Maya Angelou - "when people show you who they are, believe them." Whether she really wants to make fun of gay people or not, it would seem to indicate that she's not comfortable being approached by gay people. Interpretations of other actions aside, this would suggest to me that you might want to hold off.

    If you do decide to come out, start with just coming out. Save the fact that you have a crush on her for another occasion. If you're not comfortable about coming out to her on its own, that will tell you a lot about the situation.
     
  3. confusedbubble

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    I had a friend who was the same she would make fun of people who were gay I wanted to come out to her but had this feeling she'd make fun of me. It turned out I had nothing to worry about she is also gay and was trying to hide that she was... I told her I wasn't straight and she said yeh I know well I have to tell you something too but later.
    Around a month later she came out to me she just wasn't as ready as me so tried to hide it but still flirted with people she liked