I just came out to a not very close friend by text and now i feel so sick that i am about to vomit. The friend took it good and doesnt seem to have anything against me being gay at all, but the person didnt ask ANY question which is something new to me. Why didnt the person ask any questions at all? I have only come out to a few friends and I have had the sick-feeling 1 time before now. Why do I feel sick when coming out?:icon_sad:
It's possible that they may have just not wanted to pressure you. If you'd like to talk about it with them more, let them know - they've been accepting and understanding up until this point, so trust that they will be some more, if they have time to talk. Also, if you're still new to coming out, it's understandable that you might still feel upset after doing it. Do you have any specific concerns about what might happen when you come out to someone? If so, maybe keep posting about them so you can tell someone - if you can talk about them, maybe it will help you not be bothered by them so much.
Something of a similar nature happened to me. When I came out to my online friend, well online (over skype), he didn't say anything for a long time. After 15 minutes or so, I asked him if he was there and he said yes. When I asked him why he wasn't responding he said that 'he didn't know how to respond when people came out to him'. I felt that was fair. He didn't know whether to say 'congratulations' or 'I'm happy for you' or 'good going' or anything. So I asked him if he minded having a friend who was gay. He said not at all. That was enough for me.
Brené Brown calls it the "vulnerability hangover." It's when we make ourselves vulnerable, by sharing something that's difficult and something that people could use to hurt us. Vulnerability hangovers can come after having a deep conversation where you say more than you thought you'd say, when you start coming out to people, and other similar situations. It's normal and natural. It may not feel good, but it's part of learning to be vulnerable and to allow yourself to trust. The key is that you share these vulnerable stories only with those who have earned the right to hear them.
Not sure if it's the same thing, but (after being out for 15 years) I still occasionally feel a bit weird and apprehensive on the odd occasion that I have to come out to new people. To me, in varying degrees depending on the person I'm telling, it kind of feels like a mixture of adrenaline, nervousness, anxiety and shock followed by a light-headed/pins-and-needly feeling. Pretty sure it's normal and almost certainly the personal/physical reaction/symptom to the vulnerability hangover that Chip described.
As someone who has long struggled with it, it's anxiety, more or less. A LARGE majority of people coming out go through it and get anxiety attacks, as I did. It's not a bad idea to see a doc, explain things and get a small dose of xanax etc.
I disapprove of Xanax. It's a nasty, very powerful narcotic, very addicting drug, with horrible withdrawals and makes significant changes in your brain's chemical balance (for the worse). You don't need anything to make you smile other than yourself. You have to accept yourself completely, and then others will know that is who who are, and what makes you happy is to be that person. If some reject, that's cool, because that's normal. You can't please everyone, nor should you try to. You should do what you need to do to make you happy, that's what I do, and it makes me smile everyday!! When I get a new dress, and wear it around the neighborhood, I'm smiling big and I'm proud!
