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I'm scared that my parents will find out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Biboy33, Aug 5, 2016.

  1. Biboy33

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Bogota
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So I first came out to one of my bestfriends last year and i've been trying to come out to my group of friends but Just when I'm about to do it I get scared and just say another thing, but the other thing is that I want to come out like out out in the school, well I mean is like really hard to talk about crushes and things like that in front of anyone else but i'm afraid that my parents would find out, or that someone might tell them.
    Should I come out to them first? What should I do?
     
  2. Stewie

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    BC - Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First off I would say at your age do you think your ready to come out ? Are you ready for the potential backlash ? Just read through some stories on here and you will see how hard this can be. But if you feel your ready, and you need to come out, and like you said you want everyone to know, then I would suggest talking with your parents first, do you know how they will react ?
     
  3. Oh hai

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Maryland, United States of America
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I would suggest coming out to your group of friends first, since it sounds like you haven't come out to that many people yet. Coming out gets easier over time, so coming out to a few other people before you come out to the whole school might help you think more clearly about whether or not you want to have everyone know you are bisexual. You also say you keep getting scared about coming out to your group of friends. What I did when I couldn't tell all my friends at once that I was gay was I told each of them separately, starting with the ones I thought would be most accepting. I also told them all in person so I could make sure they didn't tell others immediately, and I told them on a Friday so that they would have the weekend to think about the news, and wouldn't just tell everyone in school about it the next day. So, I would first come out to your group of friends, then really think about if you still want to come out to your school. Is it a largely homophobic place? What consequences might arise? Could the decision negatively affect your health (bullying, depression from possible loss of friends, etc.)? If you do think that coming out to everyone is still a good idea, after telling your friends and considering the questions above, then consider whether or not your parents would be okay with it, because the truth is that once you tell everyone they will find out eventually. If your parents would be okay with your bisexuality, or at least would not harm or disown you for it, and you still want to come out, then I would tell them first so they hear it from their son, not someone else. Afterwards, I would just let my friends tell others, and by the end of the week everyone will know. Best of luck!
     
  4. mvp 447

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Tampa Bay, FL
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Be very careful w where you are, Bogota is not known for being gay friendly. Job#1 is just to keep yourself safe. We all support you.