….and I know for sure I'm at least homoflexible. And he's told me point-blank that he has a crush on me; he also knows that I've been trying to figure out my orientation. I know he's been hoping there's a chance that it would work out between us, but now I know the chances are slim. I still like him as a friend—a whole lot!—but romantically? No. I know I have to tell him, but how do I do that?
Sorry, you're not into him, so it's simple. Please tell him you still value his thoughts and companionship but if dude keeps hitting on you, walk out. Your sexuality has nothing to do w this problem. He's a sleazy guy to hit on you in a vulnerable position like this.
He's not sleazy; he told me he had a crush on me months ago, before I ever realized I was gay. I was open with him about trying to figure out my orientation, and when I told him what I'd realized, he asked if there was anything I wanted him to change about his behavior going forward. I could tell he was upset about the news, but he didn't make a big deal about it—no rant about how I'd led him on, nothing about wanting to "fix" me, none of that. I know his might be the best possible reaction, and I know I was honest and told him quickly and don't have any reason to feel guilty….but I still feel awful.
I've always found the best way of having a good relationship is by being honest. (With either friends or loved ones ) I know that sounds easyer than it sounds, but in the long term it works out being less complicated.
It's been almost 24 hours now, and part of me still feels like I made a mistake. Like I'll realize in a month that being gay was just a phase and I'll have to go back to my friend and tell him "Haha, no, I was just kidding." Like I threw something away and I'll want it back. Yet another part of me knows that I was honest, and it's better that I was honest now rather than six months down the road. That I've known it wouldn't work for a while now, and now I have a reason why, and I shared that reason, and that's all I could do. But then again, I feel like it's my fault. He hasn't written back (he lives pretty far away from me; I haven't written him either so I can give him some time to process this) and I feel like it would've been better to just go on pretending that things could've worked. Like this whole thing was a choice and I made the wrong one. Why does everything have to be so complicated?
