Coming out to/accepting yourself

I'm not really good about that, but I'll try to help anyway

I didn't really struggle when I thought I could also be attracted to mens, at first I was more "Nah, being gay is strange and stuff", but I was dumb and immature back then.

One thought was on my side back then, I was attracted to womens, so I thought I was straight.

I've let them time pass, and then accepted it, "I'm bisexual", and then came out to my friends. I didn't tell my friends before because I wasn't sure at the moment.

First, you have to make yourself understand that being gay isn't bad, it's just different from the majority.

Second, time. Let time pass, let your emotions flow, don't stay on one thought and get sad because of that thought. Live.

Third, don't be ashamed to talk about it, ask things, search things on the Internet. Don't be the only one helping yourself, get help and support from everyone. Friends, family, a therapist if you think you would need one, but mostly the whole community of EC.

Finally, be proud of what you are. Hetero, gay, bi, it doesn't matter, you are who you are. And you are awesome.

Hope this helps

 

I have a long way to go myself in this area. People say be proud but I've felt so distant from that. But recently I've made 2 lgbt friends and gone to 2 prides. It has really, really helped. At one point I was sitting at a bar with my friends just watching the crowds. With each happy lesbian couple that walked past I felt like a little bit of acceptance was being built up inside me, piece by piece. They seemed so happy and I wanted it so much. I thought to myself that I can be like them, they're not just in a youtube video or in a series, they're real. I can achieve it, if they can, why shouldn't I?

A friend who's gay said to me "one day you will stop hating yourself". Hopefully I'm getting there, all be it slowly. I would say spend time on here, seek out other people like you, and watch lgbt stuff. Thats what I'm going to try to do.

 

I can really recommend immersing yourself in LGBT media/among LGBT people, if at all possible. It normalises it all a bit, and makes it seem much more 'acceptable' (not quite the right word, but hopefully you get what I mean?) and easier to imagine yourself being part of that.

For me it was playing roller derby (where probably about 60% of my team mates are not straight) that a) made me realise in the first place that I am not as straight as I always assumed I was and b) made it just not even really 'a thing' to not be straight - most of the friends I see on a regular basis are gay, some of them are married, two of them are currently expecting a baby - and now, to me, that is just normal, so the idea of a 'normal' heterosexual relationship doesn't matter any more.

I know not everyone is fortunate enough to be in a situation where they have ready access to a wonderful group of LGBT friends, but generally immersing yourself in LGBT culture can help - read LGBT website (like this one, or autostraddle, I'm sure others can suggest others), follow LGBT pages on facebook (obviously, only if you are comfortable that people could potentially see that you like those pages, but you can always check out the pages without liking them), so that you see LGBT news stories appearing in your feed. Search out Netflix's (admittedly not great) LGBT section. Watch the L word/OITNB from start to finish!

Hopefully, the more you expose yourself to LGBT stuff, the more 'normal' it will seem to you, and hopefully the more comfortable you will feel about it all.

Like laviedadele said, if you have any LGBT friends you can hang out with, or go to an LGBT event with, that will probably help. If there are any roller derby teams near you, go and watch a game (I can almost guarantee you will see many lgbt couples there, and it's great fun!).

I felt very much like you a few months ago, with regards to not wanting to lead people on, when I'd never been with a woman, but the more I 'researched' it, so to speak, the happier I felt with this.

I hope that is somewhat helpful!

 

i had this myself and over time it faded, not sure what i did to make i go away. I hope that you can learn to love this side of urself and live they way that will make u truly happy.

I feel for myself my problm was how i would feel people would view me as gay.

 

Sometimes the one we hide the deepest secrets from is ourselves. And when suddenly our lives set into motion the unraveling of those secrets, the shock can set in. What I have found helps is just to get a little obsessive about the topic that I know is apart of who I really am. For me it was being attracted to a large spectrum of people and also that I am a guy and not a girl. For you it is likely that you are a lesbian, start watching YouTube videos with lesbians talking about their everyday lives, you will start to realize there isn't anything to be scared of, you are still yourself and your daily life will be the same, just you will be able to look yourself in the eye and know a little bit more about yourself feel more comfortable in your skin and reality. Honesty in the long run is freeing. Watch as you become a more sassy happy form of yourself.