I really wish for once I could offer up some good news. Alas, there is none. My mom is going back to the psychiatric hospital. She freaked out and cut herself very deep, bleed to death deep. My dad is taking her back right now. I got to say goodbye this time at least but I almost cried. I seriously don't think I can take life anymore. I've contemplated suicide before but it really seems like the only way out now. I know my family and friends will be upset though so I can't go through with it. Basically my life fucking sucks. I don't know what I'm really looking for here because no one can help me. Shit, even I can't help me. I need some drugs, but those have consequences too. I can't escape because every form of escapism will result in more bullshit. God I hate thinking before I act. I think I just need a hug, but there's no one to give me one. I'm in the house all by myself, I really hope my aunt has some booze stashed somewhere.
First, here is a BIG hug! (*hug*) Second, you can't numb your pain with drugs and alcohol. Well you CAN but it may put you in the same shape as your mother is in. You need to break the cycle with YOU! Make up your mind right now to be healthy! You need to be healthy for your parents and you need to be healthy for you!
Don't do drugs or alcohol if you're just trying to blot out the pain as it may cause dependency, lung cancer, pancreatic cancer, liver deterioration, respiratory failure, among other things. And, they cost money. It's financially an unwise move. Perhaps you should talk to a friend but suicide is not the answer. It's just a quick fix. What will benefit others, and yourself if you commit suicide? There is no benefit. And it costs money for a funeral, clean up crew (your leaky body), and to dig a hole.
Hey, Im sorry that you are going through all of this (*hug*) Its good that you have realized that suicide would not be a good thing to do. But you should also realiza that drinking and drugs is not a wise decision either. No matter how much you drink, or how many drugs you take or do, you will always have to come back to reality to deal with what you are trying to block out. You should try to find someone to talk to, just to get some of this off your chest and clear your mind. Just hang in there, you WILL get through this. (*hug*)
