I'm looking for a "finish line"

So recently comin' out has become a very serious matter to me, It's been for a few years now that thing "I'll do eventually" but now it's looking more and more so like it's getting closer and closer, I can almost touch it.
Now I've been doin' a lot of thinking (Which is crazy for me! LOL) I don't even know a gay guy my age, why would I even "desire" to come out? I've come to realize it's because I'm sick of feeling tired. Thinking about this hole thing is mentally exhausting. My main goal is to feel "rested"? (Dont got any better words) I just wanna feel at peace. But if I come out my family would create new issues which is exhausting, in the future I'll have to accept no by birth kids, I'll have the mental feeling of "naturally" humans goal is to reproduce so I "fail" at being human. Like, where does this peace come? What would y'all consider a "finish line"? Runners burn energy to reach that line than rest. I feel like I'm burning energy and there's no finish in site.