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Don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rainbowstyle, Jun 24, 2007.

  1. rainbowstyle

    Regular Member

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    I'm really torn between telling my family that I'm gay, and not telling them.. I really want to, and came to close to tellingmy cousin today, but chickened out.. it's all I could think about when I was on the phone to her.. but all my family is religious, one side is Catholic and the other is Jehovah's Witness.. but all of them have at least one gay/lesbian friend so that's a good thing.. the thing is my parents don't want me to say anything, and I don't wanna upset them.. but I'm 18 years old! I've been keeping this secret for so long, it's starting to eat away at me.. I'm so sick of everybody asking me "Do you have a boyfriend yet?" I just wanna scream from the highest rooftop that I like girls.. it won't be that big of a shock, or at least it shouldn't be.. I wear mens clothes, I have short spiky hair.. ugh, now I'm just rambling.. I guess the advice I'm seeking...


    Should I tell my family so I can stop keeping this secret? Or should I not tell them in order to please my parents? I just need some advice.. it gets kind of confusing for me :bang:
     
  2. greg

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    do what is right for you,its your life you shouldn't be living life to please others, be yourself if others don't like it, it is their problem not yours. greg
     
  3. BBXL

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    I know exactly how that feels. When I wanted to tell my parents It took me ages to get the courage to tell them, I think that the best thing to do is to just get it out of the way then you can live your life. When I was trying to tell my mum it was like I had lost my voice but the feeling that you get once its done if a lot better then saying nothing.
     
  4. Hendrix

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    I think you need to explian to your parents how you feel and see if they might change their mind. Your family will have to find out eventually, but then agian your parents might not be prepared for it yet if they'll ever be. Can't stay a secret forever!!!:bang:
     
  5. TriBi

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    I agree with Greg in regards to the "It's your life, you should be living it for yourelf, not for others". The only rider I would put on it is that you also should try and be aware of what sort of reaction your coming out to your parents might provoke.

    If you have a strong feeling that it could be negative, and if you are financially dependent, I would suggest it might be more sensible to wait until you feel you can make your own way in the world.

    If, however, you feel that your parents would still love you "no matter what" - well, I would work towards trying to find the right moment...
     
  6. beckyg

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    I think you should just sit down ( or write them a letter if that is easier for you) with your parents and tell them how this is so upsetting and hard for you. Tell them you would like to start telling people in your family. Maybe you could start with the people you are closest to. In my family we did that, and word of mouth got to the rest which we really didn't care whether they approved or not. :slight_smile: Explain to your parents that people are more likely to vote for your rights if they know they have somebody in their family who is gay or lesbian. It's important to be out!