I want to start using male pronouns and a masculine name at school in a few months but I don't want to seem like I am copying my best friend. I live in a very small town and we only have 1 openly trans person in the school and I've only ever heard of one other person anywhere near us who is trans. My best friend just came out as mtf a couple months ago and I want to come out soon even if I don't necessarily identify as transgender I was to change my pronouns which I worry most people will see as copying my friend by changing my gender identity since it may come off weird to them that the only 2 people in te school to change their gender identity would be us and we are in the same grade and used to date and I don't want to deal with stupid people making comments on this to us especially her since she is overly sensitive to what people say.
I have no experience in gender identity, but here are my thoughts - feel free to ditch them! I would not come out to everyone immediately, I would come out to your "safe people" i.e. your friends, those who you know are accepting. Ask them to call you male pronouns, see how you feel, does it feel right? if so, then think about coming out fully. in this way, any negativity is much easier to cope with when you have allies, friends. I would try your best to not care what people think. even in general and not relating to gender/sexuality it is completely exhausting and a compromise of your authenticity. I relate being yourself to a ship that sails it's own path regardless of the winds. If you know why you want to be called male pronouns, even if the reason is as simple as "it makes me feel good" , then male pronouns is your truth right now. you are not copying your friend, this is who you believe you are. it may change in the future, it may not, but if you completely own who you are, then any fluidity/changes should not matter, it does not make your previous identity false - you may have grown/it is just no longer your truth. so how do you become a ship unaltered by the winds? lol i am unsure/working on it. being cliche but what i feel: it comes from within, it grows over experiences - bad and good, and reflection. ask yourself questions..why do you want to be called male pronouns ? (even if the answer is no more than how it makes you feel), then when you can answer that you have this solid foundation so anyone who expresses doubt/that you are copying your friend , does not matter because you are confident in your truth. I am sure i rambled here, and apologies if i make no sense, hope this helps.
Your journey is different from hers, so I wouldn't worry too much about copying. If people are smart, they would ask why you're doing it, and of course, in turn, you can explain why. SO, you guys happen to have the same line of thoughts when it comes to pronouns, doesn't mean you'll progress the same way. Do it because you're comfortable in changing that part of yourself, nothing else should really matter. If they want to create drama out of it, ignore it.
