So i have been seeing this guy since February and everything is going well, except for the fact i am 26, living at home, only previously dated girls before and my family and friends have no clue. So the half coming out resulting in my boyfriend being round my house as he had a new phone and isnt very good with technology. My parents came home early whilst i was still sorting out the new phone, i passed him off as a friend and he ended up staying for dinner and got on really well with my parents. Next day my mum asked me by text as i wasn't home if i was gay and after some tears i went home and everything seemed ok, despite the shock but that was numbed by wine. Few days latter my dad proceeded to threaten my boyfriend "If i continued to see him, he would have to watch his back and how i was upsetting everyone" After i threatened to leave home my mum calmed things down and nothing has been said since and by that i mean his isn't mentioned being gay isn't mentioned, its like it didn't happen. Only the occasional slurs/rants if gays are featured on tv. My boyfriend has been away all over summer and i have been majorly busy with work so it hasn't been an issue and i have been relieved of not having the pressure of upsetting my parents for seeing him or upsetting my bf as i cant see him. Well he is back home in two weeks, which i mentioned to my mum. Her response "Oh not this again, are you actually going to see him?" To which i said yes. My mum thinks i am just lonely as i have been so busy with work and not had much of social life, she things he has taken advantages of this so called loneliness and blames him and says when work has settled down in the new few weeks il be able to focus on getting my life back on track... The thing is i find it very hard to talk about my feeling to anyone and tend to shut down and clam up, my parents reaction certainly not helping. So my boyfriend comes home in two weeks and i am dreading have to go back to lying to my parents where i am going, oh just work drinks etc, the pressure not to upset anyone or not to hurt anyway is getting too much. I know i am 26 and dont have to tell my parents what i am doing, it just my parents worry and just like to know i am safe etc. I feel like i am trapped and either way i am going to hurt someone and i cant bare to hurt my parents, so much is going on in my family at the moment with cancer. I honestly dont know which way to turn. I have no idea how i am going to tell my parents i am going to California for 3 weeks with my bf next year, something i have always wanted to do is just a source of anxiety and dread.
If I were you, I'd tell them I'm bisexuals. When I came out as gay to my parents, my mom pressured me A LOT to be bisexual so there might still be a chance of me ending up with a guy. Yeah, not happening, mom. But, with you, you're actually bisexual (right? I tend to trust what it says on people's profiles...) so it would work in your benefit: You get to be with your boyfriend and your parents still think you might end up with a girl! Otherwise I have no other advice sorry.... ><; I hope this helped and I hope things work out.
I would tell them you're bi, just so you could be completely honest with them and they know what you are. It doesn't sound like they're supportive, but it also sounds like they don't quite understand how you feel. You should talk with them and explain that what you feel is real and not just a result of "loneliness", and your boyfriend isn't taking advantage of you. Also, you threatened to move out, but why don't you? You say that you don't want to make them feel bad and you want to be there for them, but they aren't exactly being supportive of you. It would be wrong to put the guilt and blame on you. Moving out should be your decision as you are now an adult. You could still be around and be there for them if you move out. As for always asking where you are, you should be honest and tell them you are going to see your boyfriend. If they don't like that, it's their problem, not yours. You're an adult and can do what you want now, and what you want to do isn't even bad. That's just my advice though- do whatever feels most comfortable. Hope it all works out!
