Hello guys, I'm new here. I read already a few topics already, but I wanted to create one with all my feelings in it. At least I think I will feel different... So here is the story... I pretty much know that I'm gay like from beginning of my life and no one knew it. I live in a pretty homophobic country, so I didn't want anyone to know for a while. Last year, my cousin, which is like my best friend, started talking something about LGBT, like that she doesn't have anything bad against gay people and stuff. At that moment, I was so happy that I immediately had to say to her that I was gay. She hugged me and said that I have her support for everything. Of course, I asked her that all of that should be our secret and she had no problems with that... 2 days ago, he said everything to my sister. My sister called me and said "Your cousin is saying that you are gay, is that true or not?" I was shocked at that moment. First thing I was shocked that truth is revealed, I can't lie now and say that I'm not gay, because it would be like lying to myself. And second thing, my cousin... my best friend... backstabbed me so hard... I started to cry and said that I am gay. She was like "Are you sure you are gay or is it just a phase" I said that I'm 100% sure. Then she said that like she doesn't accept it and that I just need a good girl next to me... We were talking like 20 minutes about that, my heart was entirely broken. After that, I felt like I don't have a place on this planet... like I'm useless... 10 minutes after that, I went to my mom and said that I need to talk to her... I was scared that my sister will tell her all and I wanted her to hear that from me. I came out to her as well. She was shocked as well and asked a bunch of questions, she doesn't get it as well, but she said that I'm her son and nothing will change that, but she thinks as well that it's just a phase. I'm 21. It's not a phase if I know that I'm gay for like whole life. After all these talks, I didn't even sleep last night, I'm just crying and feeling bad, I don't even know what to do... I feel like everything just died in me. I can't even smile. This is not me... Guys, if you have anything to say to me, please just say it, because this hurts so much. I feel like it would be easier to me that they've just abandoned me. They think like I'm crazy and stuff that I'm just thinking totally wrong. Plus, they think that I became gay "thanks to" internet. Sorry guys for my bad english, it's my second language and I don't even know what I wrote, so... I just want to hear your suggestions and how should I act...
First of all, I'm sorry your family reacted that way. I can't promise anything but you might want to consider that they just need a little time to be able to understand. If they seem like they simply don't know what it means for you or something, maybe you could try and explain and talk to them. Tell them how you feel and show them stories about other people being gay. Explain that there is nothing wrong with you and this is who you are and you will not change to make them happy. Maybe talk to your cousin about why they did what they did and try to fix your relationship with them if it's possible. You have a right to be angry and disappointed and you deserve an explanation and an apology because nobody should be outed against their own will. But if they do apologize and are genuine, perhaps you should consider forgiving. You could use their support in a difficult situation like this. If you have a friend you could come out to and talk to, maybe consider that too. Just try to find ways to make you feel like you're not alone and that you are loved and there are people who accept you just the way you are. If you don't want to talk to people physically in your life, you can find amazing people on the internet, the Empty Closets for example! You have to make it clear to your family and to yourself that this is your life and you're allowed to be happy and love who you love. It may take time but things have a tendency to work out. I wish the best for you and your family. You are very brave and will get through this.
I'm really thankful for your answer, it made me feel a lot better, even tho I'm still shaking. Seriously, thank you very much. Meanwhile, I found out that they were talking with psychologist and his/her cure about being gay. That killed me even more. I don't even know what to say. I would be the happiest person to run away from this place, but I don't have anywhere else to go. My life just stopped today, like clock is dead, I don't have any feeling in myself except sadness. I don't want to be a drama queen or something, I just feel somehow better by saying everything what I mean here... Thanks once again, I really appreciate it, wish you all the best in this world.
You're 21. Yes, family is important. However, keep in mind that since you are 21, your family doesn't control you. Start your own family (I't not even talking biological family. Friends make nice family too) if you feel like your biological family doesn't accept you. I'm so sorry for what they said.. /: However, for every homophobic person out there, there's a supporter. I promise you will find people who support you and love you for who YOU are, not for who they want you to be.
