So I was married to my husband for 3 years and we are getting a divorce because I have finally accepted I am a lesbian. I had only told a few people because I was not ready for everyone to know. My mother in law knew and promised she wouldn't say anything and she understood that I would tell people when I was ready. Fast forward to TODAY she told EVERYONE in the family! I am so hurt and mad. I didn't even get to come out on my own.. I just wanted to be ready when I come out, and I wasn't ready but know they all know. I am avoiding her now because I don't know what to say to her..
Sucks that your mom did that. I understand why you would be avoiding her right now, but maybe she had a reason? Or she has trouble holding secrets for herself that is as big as this? I hope your family members reacted well tho.
Thank you and Yeah it was my mother-in-law. The only reason I had told her was because she wanted to know WHY me and her son are getting a divorce. I feel betrayed, coming out is a process that you should be ready for and I wasn't mentally ready for it.:icon_sad: I haven't heard from any of the family members yet, but most of them are very religious. So that's why i was hesitant to tell them.
I hope everything turns out well, there arent alot of religious people here so I couldn't imagine the way they would react. Is the majority of your family quite open minded?
Well, first I'm sorry that happened. That wasn't okay of her. Second, do you want to talk to her again? What I mean is, if you are divorcing her son then why are you going to ever see her or those people again? Is it because you and your husband had a child together?
Yes we have a child together and I rent a home from her. ---------- Post added 27th Aug 2016 at 10:02 PM ----------
Wow, that honestly makes me mad, too. How dare she do that... I'm so sorry. My guess is that maybe she is hurt because her son won't have you as a wife anymore. Or maybe she is embarrassed for her son and is trying to make it look like your fault. I'd approach her and ask why she did that. That was such a shitty thing for her to do... She should be ashamed of herself. That was a personal thing for you, and she probably destroyed the trust you had with her. She needs to know that, too.
Thank you! And yes I feel like she is trying to make sure her son doesn't look bad...I need to tell her how betrayed I feel, I just HATE confrontation and conflict. I will have to deal with it sooner or later.
I hate confrontation, too. I hate it so much that I'm a pushover. But when it comes to something like this, I get so angry and hurt that I become a different person than what most people are used to. I can only take so much, and this is a major slap in the face. Keep us updated on how things go, if and when you confront her. I hope she gets a taste of karma one day. :dry:
I think the problem here is that since she has clearly already told everyone that you are a lesbian she isn't just going to go "whoops, you're right, I shouldn't have done that" if you confront her. Not only that, but even if she did apologize, it might not be sincere. Apologies, if they are genuine, are usually followed by some form of recompense. Do you think that's going to happen? You are also complicating matters by renting a home from her. I think that's not going to be great for you in the long run.
Last night I slept on it, and I think i am just going to let it go, and just not speak to her or have a relationship with her at all. She wasn't really involved with son in the first place. I will let my sons dad deal with her and letting our son visit her on his time. It's not worth all the stress..
Wow, that's just wrong. I don't blame you though, I wouldn't speak to her/have a relationship with her at all. No one should do that, I went through it several years ago just a little bit, it makes you feel horrible. But, I would distance myself from her and just try to forget about it. Moving on past it is about the best thing you can do for yourself.
That's terrible, I remember you saying that was what you were afraid of to begin with, everyone finding out, I'm not big on confrontations either, mainly because I have issues controlling my anger and my mouth when it comes to a betrayal like this, I would absolutely unload on someone if they did that too me, and if whoever did it was a male member of my family it might be more then words they received. In your case I understand your hesitation, but she betrayed your trust, just so she could gossip about it to everyone... I feel you should let her know how much her actions have hurt you and how much this is going to complicate your life, you don't have to be mean, maybe a hand written letter explaining the situation and how much of a betrayal this is, and how much more difficult your life will be seeing as your still figuring it out yourself and now you have to deal with everyone else on top of it. Stay strong, you will overcome this Big hugs (&&&)
Thank you Stewie! I still havent talked to her about it, but I am not ready. She knows what she did was wrong, so I will left her live with her guilt for now, until I decide to talk to her again. I want to focus on being happy finally, with out all this unnecessary drama and gossip.
